I Got SOAP in the Mail!

So I got soap in the mail the other day.

Hiya, Friends!  Well, the other day, I got a box in the mail.  Every month, I get a box in the mail from New York City, and it's full of stuff for me.  Sometimes I get toys.  Once I got a bib.  I get lotsa snacks.  A sunhat came in the mail once.  I also got a little pink race car that's made of recycled milk jugs, and it came in my box.  That was neat!

There's usually a theme for every box, every month.  Usually I think it's fun, the theme I get, but I can tell I'm getting older, because my theme this month was "Potty Training."

Crap.  And I mean that literally.

I'm not complainin' about my box.  I'm not.  It came with some snacks.  I guess to get my motor runnin', if ya catch my drift.  And then there were some wet-wipes, and a little watch that I'm supposed to wear that plays music and reminds me when it's time to "go."  It's just exactly like another watch I already have that came with a DVD set Mommy got me on this topic.  I like the music the watches play, but neither one has magical properties that make me wanna go sit on the potty.

It was included in a "Potty Training" themed box.

Heck, no.  I've got a good thing going right now!

Now, that Rozzie.  She's always a great hand to really let the air out of my tires. She said if I don't get myself housebroken soon, Mommy and Daddy are gonna start making me go outside.  She said the Potty Training -themed box is proof.  That Rozzie.  Joke's on her.  Since I'm on the diaper, I can go whenever, wherever I wanna, and that's how I like it, by golly! Why on Earth would I ever train myself to let go of that wonderful freedom?

I've seen how you Big People do.  You get into a store, or worse- in the car, and all of a sudden, you're searching around frantically for a restroom, and if there isn't one, you can get mighty uncomfortable, having to hold it.  I don't have that problem.  When I hafta go, I just go, even if it's in the toy aisle.  No frantic searching.  No panicked dancing and dashing.  Just 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Relief."  Then I just get changed at my earliest convenience!

 

 

I suppose next month's box will be Algebra-themed.  Great.

Resistance might be futile when you're dealin' with the Borg, but I'll tell ya what.  I'm gonna keep on resistin' this Potty Trainin' thing, no matter how many boxes I get in mail with a Potty Trainin' theme.

That's right!

Anyway, back to my box I got in the mail.  It also came with this really cool soap that comes out of a frog-looking dispenser, and it's foamy and PURPLE.  I LOVE foamy and purpleness!  I love washing my hands with that soap! 

It made me feel like a big cheese, gettin' soap in the mail like that.  And also, they sent me a pair of pink sunglasses.  It's as though they were saying 'I know this month's box's theme kinda blows, Zoe, so please enjoy these wonderful pink KidBanz on us, and don't be mad about the unpleasant discussions the contents of this box will spark in your house, Mmmmkay?'

Boy oh boy.