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Friday, October 4, 2013

The This!!! : A Quick Lesson in Zolish!

Zozie ridin' in the the THIS! Playin' with the the THIS!
Hiya, Friends!  You know, it seems crazy, but it's true.  I haven't been verbalizing for very long.  I mean, I'm an excellent speaker when I write.  I guess you could say I'm good at writing.  At the actual speaking, I sometimes sound like a neophyte. 

It's true!  Sometimes, I have my own way of saying things.  For instance, if you hear me say "Zozie goin' for a ride in the the THIS!" it means I'm ("Zozie") going for a ride in whatever "the this" is.  "The This" can be the Jeep or the truck or my wagon or an Imaginatron 2100.  I substitute "The This" for anything I can't think right away what the word is for the object I'm referring to.

Zozie standin' on the the THIS!
You might have noticed I said "Zozie goin' for a ride in the the this!" with two the's right next to each other.  You might have assumed it was a typo or a speako.  It isn't.  You see, I realize how the word "the" works.  Thing of it is, the the immediately in front of what I'm talking about is part of "This."  The first the is the article, functioning as the article.

Have I made your head explode yet?

It really isn't that difficult, Friends.  I mean, if it were, I wouldn't be using this particular speech construction.  If you practice it with me, you'll be a pro at this particular Zolish construction in no time:

Say you're holding in your hand a jar that's kind of hard to open.  A pickle jar, to be exact.  You want a pickle, and your Mommy and Daddy aren't paying any attention to you.  You try to get the lid off the pickle jar, and finally, having had enough fruitless trying, you shout: "Open the the this!  Pickle!"

Your Mommy and Daddy will see that you got into the fridge and got out the pickle jar, and will they ever come running to open the the this for you!

Or, you're helping your Mommy on the weekly run-through clean of your house.  You're dusting the coffee table, and you want your Mommy to notice you're helping, so you say, "Mommy!  Zozie cleanin' the the this!"

If that doesn't get you a liminaliminal cookie, I don't know what will!

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya!  Muah!

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