2014: Thanks for the Memories!

Friends, celebrate responsibly tonight! I wanna see ya in the Future!

Hiya, Big People!  Well, this is the last post for 2014.  Not the last post forever.  I'm not ready to hang up The Daily Zoe or The Daily Zoe Blog yet.  No the heck I'm not!

This is what... my FOURTH New Year's Eve?  Let's see... I was around for NYE 2011, 2012- that was the year everybody thought the world was gonna end on 12-21-2012- remember that?  Hahahaha- we were silly people!  I was around for NYE 2013... how many's that? ... Three!  And NYE 2014 makes four.  So this IS my Fourth New Year's Eve. 

It's pretty much kind of a neat night to be around.  And I've gotten to stay up for all the New Year's Eves I've been around for, too.  Well, Mommy pretty much has to let me stay up, on account of on New Year's Eve, it's now, and then Midnight comes, and we're suddenly in The Future, even if it takes us all until Valentine's Day to write the correct year on dated stuff. 

Isn't it funny how that can trip a person up?  Getting the year right?

Anyways, before I go for the year, Friends, lemme just say that you're free to do what you do on New Year's Eve.  Why, I might indulge in some hot cocoa tonight myself.  A cookie or three.  But let's all be responsible, mmmkay, Friends?  I wanna see ya in The Future.

See ya tomorrow.  Happy New Year's Eve, Big People!  I loved ya in 2014, and I'll love ya a whole lot more in 2015, mmmkay?!  Muah!

Candy is Dandy!

Candy is Dandy.  That's all!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Tuesday to you!

You know, in my Christmas stocking this year, I got a big boxa candy called "Mike-N-Ike" Candies, and I just love 'em.  They look like little pills, and are brightly colored, and the fruit flavor just bursts right out of them!

This is precisely the sort of thing I dreamed of getting to eat, back when I was on just the Similac. 

Don't get me wrong.  I still love to eat fruits and vegetables and real food, but sometimes, it's fun to eat things in shapes and colors and flavors that don't really occur in nature.  You know what I'm sayin'?  It's like bein' turned loose in that room in Willy Wonka's factory where everything is brightly colored and edibly delicious.

Why, if I got to go to that room, I'd be like a kid let loose in a room where everything is brightly colored and edibly delicious!

What's that? ... Yes, I know that was a lame simile.  I'm three.  I'm still workin' on sharpenin' my metaphors and similes while I learn what Aunt Colleen calls "environmental reading."

Big stuff in my future, Big People.  But today, I'm enjoyin' my Mike-n-Ikes.

You have a great day, mmmmkay?  I love ya lots!  Muah!

The Last Monday of the Year!

Mondays, we have an ambivalent relationship, don't we?  We sure do!

Hiya, Friends! How are you today?  Have you noticed that today's the last Monday of the year?

It's true.  I checked on the calendar and I can't help but notice that there's no more Mondays in 2014.  Isn't that something?

Of course, once 2015 gets here, we'll have a whole year's worth of Mondays again. 

We'll be all right, Friends.  We'll work together to make Mondays fun in 2015.  We will.  Every Monday is a new opportunity to make things a little easier between Mondays and People, don'tchya think?  I'm gonna make it my personal mission to do just that!

I love ya lots, Friends!  We're gonna be just fine!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Batteries Charged!

I LOVE THE SUNSHINE, FRIENDS!  HAAAAAAAA!

Friends, I can't tell ya how excited I am that we've had some bright-n-shiny weather the last few days!  Don't get me wrong.  I like cloudy days, but it seems like we've had a lot of cloudy days all strung end-to-end lately, and boyo boy, I was starting to feel a little run-down. 

Why, even my Happy Flower on the windowsill in the kitchen wasn't dancing.  She needs sunshine to dance, and I was starting to wonder if my poor little Happy Flower was broken.  But she's been dancin' up a storm the last coupla days.

I mean... I hope she isn't dancin' up a storm.  I hope she's dancin' up some more sunshine.  I know just how she feels, though.  After not seein' the sun for so long, seein' it again makes me just wanna hafta dance like a crazy girl.  Or a happy flower!

Friends, I've got my batteries all charged up.  I sure hope you do, too!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow, mmkay?  Muah!

Lettin' Loose

I gotta let it out, Big People, and I think you do, too!

Friends, you know how these holidays are.  You're around lotsa family, and when you're around lotsa family, you're expected to be on your best behavior.  All the time.  I know a lotta adults who'd have trouble with this, but for a Little Kid like me, bein' good has a byproduct of lotsa energy that stays all clogged up in our bodies.  If we don't let it out periodically with a good spazz in a controlled environment, trust me, Big People, that energy's gonna come out in really inconvenient places.

Because yes.  We can't help it, Friends.  We Little Kids might decide to cut loose and let out that energy while we're in a restaurant with you, or we might throw a fit at the mall.  Or maybe we won't hand over an item to be scanned at the checkout at Target.

I'm not makin' toddleristic threats, Friends.  Not even a little.  I'm just tellin' ya what can happen.  We're like little pressure cookers, Friends, and we've gotta let the pressure out when we've been really, really good for long stretches of time.

A few moments of goofiness periodically ought to help.  That oughtta get the job done for ya.  So act silly as you want with me, right now.  You'll feel better, and if you're anything like me, it'll help ya get through bein' good.

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Raffe and Rhoda!

Sometimes, Fate is great!

Hiya, Big People!  How was your Christmas?  Mine was great. 

My friend Rhoda the Little Giraffe has been reunited with her twin brother Raffe the Little Giraffe, and you'll never guess how it came about!

Heck.  I'll tell ya how it came about! 

Two years ago in September, I was at the Arnot Mall with Mommy, and I met a Little Giraffe named Rhoda.  She lived on a shelf near the back of a store that sells lotsa cards and things that smell nice and are pretty.  She liked her life at the Arnot Mall, but she wanted to go home with a little girl, and as I rolled past in my stroller, Rhoda called out to me.  She'd picked me to be the little girl she went home with, on account of how she heard about my work raising awareness of the plight of Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of the Mid-Atlantic States.

Of course I was honored that Rhoda wanted to come home with me, and I just love the dickens right out of that Little Giraffe, and she's been happy at my house, with all our friends here, but she's always seemed a little sad.  I never knew it, but Rhoda has a twin brother named Raffe, from whom she was separated when they got put on separate trucks to go to different stores.  Rhoda never mentioned Raffe to me because she thought she'd never see Raffe again, and talking about him would just make her sadder.

Well.  Fast-forward to Christmas Eve, just two nights ago.  I got a special package from my Great-Grandpa and Great Grandma Kenyon.  I knew it was going to be just something wonderful, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I opened it up:  There was a Little Giraffe who reminded me so much of someone I know, someone I love.  He has the softest fur, the friendliest eyes, and the kindest heart, just like my dear Little Giraffe Friend Rhoda. 

I told Raffe he reminds me of someone I know, but being Christmas Eve, there was lots of other things to see and do, and Raffe and I didn't get much of a chance to talk.

I knew this Christmas Eve was a really magical time after Raffe and I went up to my room.  Rhoda was sitting in her spot on the far corner of my bed, and when she saw Raffe, she squealed.  I didn't even know Little Giraffes squeal like that, but they do sometimes.  They sure do!  And then Rhoda and Raffe both started crying! 

I was bewildered at first, but once Raffe and Rhoda got all their hugging out of the way, they told me about how they got loaded up onto different trucks when it was time to go out to the stores to find little kids to go home with.  They knew they'd be separated someday, probably, each of them going home with a different little kid, and that would be that, but they figured on going to the same store, at least, to have a little more time, you know?  But Rhoda went in one direction and finally ended up at my house, two years ago in September, like I said, and Raffe went somewheres else.

Until Christmas Eve. 

Friends, Rhoda and Raffe never dreamed they'd get to come to the same little kid's house and not hafta say goodbye to each other again.  But that's what happened.  And Rhoda said to just think about how it wouldn't have turned out this way if they'd ended up in the same store, on accounta Mommy wouldn't have let me bring home two Little Giraffes on the same day.  They couldn't be happier.  I couldn't be happier for Rhoda and Raffe.  And Raffe fits in so well with my other Little Giraffe Friends up here on The Hill. It's just wonderful.

You know, Big People, you hear about Christmas Miracles all the time.  At least I do.  And I believe in them.  I just never thought I'd get to see one, all up close like this.  It really is remarkable.  That's why I've decided that Rhoda and Raffe are "The Remarkables."  How about that?!

All right, Friends.  We're havin' a celebratory tea party now, to welcome Raffe, so I've gotta go.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Merry Christmas, Friends!

I decorated this limb, and I think it looks great with a whole big glob of ornaments!

Hiya, Friends!  I know you've got a lot of Christmassing to do today, seein' family and friends, present-unwrappin', cookie-eatin'... that sort of thing.  So I'm gonna keep this short-n-sweet today, mmmmkay?

From me to you, MERRY CHRISTMAS BIG PEOPLE AND FRIENDS!  I love ya lots!

See ya tomorrow! 

Muah!

NaughtierNice

At my core, Santa, I'm a good little girl, but I have my moments of bein' a terror!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you know, it's Christmas Eve, and I'm three, and I've been havin' a little anxiety over that NaughterNice list ol' Santa Claus has. 

You see, I'm mostly a really good little kid.  I behave well in public.  I don't throw temper tantrums in the cereal aisle.  I don't spazz out in restaurants, usually.  I share my toys.

But sometimes, since I'm three, I just can't help havin' an outburst, every once in a while.  It usually happens when I'm tired or hungry or hangry.  Sometimes, I just flip out, because I'm pretty sure I'm entitled to some random Toddler flip-outs as per the Kidstitution.

Even so, those random flip-outs I've indulged in over this last little bit'o'time have me worried that I'm gonna wind up on Santa's Naughty list.  It isn't so much that I'm worried about what present I'll get.  I can have fun with just about everything, even if it's coal, but what really has me spooked about that Naughty list is that I feel like by ending up on it, I've let Santa down.  I feel like I've let myself down.  You know what I mean? 

So if you see the Big Man in the Red Suit before I get a chance to explain myself in my Powerpoint Presentation I'm leaving out for him tonight to enjoy while he eats his cookies, could I count on you to put in a good word for me, Big People?  Tell 'em I'm not a holy little terror?

I love ya lots, Friends, and the next time I'll see ya, it'll be CHRISTMAS!  Muah!

Jeez, I'm Cuttin' It Close!

I don't even have time to order Smileys for Santa now!

Friends, how is it that nobody's ever told me that these last few days before Christmas are both the most astoundingly slow yet shockingly fast-passing days of the whole entire year?  How is it that I have not been made aware of this until now?

I guess you've guessed I have a bee in my bonnet, and that be is because I meant to make Santa Claus some really epic Christmas cookies, all sugar-cookie, cut-outness, with amazingly artistic icing and edible glitter details.  I did this last year, and my cookies were met with a rip-roaring success.

This year, I haven't even baked up any Chocolate Chip cookies, but I think that's what I'm definitely gonna do after I'm done talkin' to you.  I'd thought about ordering Santa some cookies from SmileyCookie.com, but as it turns out, I've missed my shipping deadline.  I could just go pick up a few boxes from Eat'n'Park, if there was one nearby, but the closest one is in Clarion, and I can't drive, on accounta me bein' three.  Mommy, ever the sour watermelon, won't drive me there to pick up Smiley Cookies for Santa.

So this year, when I leave Santa my little note and hopefully some chocolate chip cookies, you can bet I'm throwin' Mommy under the sleigh for this!  You can bet on it!

Friends, I'd better letchya go!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Snack Win: A Retrospective of My Snacking Career

A Peanut Butter Sandwich AND a graham cracker?!  I win!!!!

Hiya, Friends!  Hey, if you know me, you know I love snacks.  The snacks in my life have really improved a lot since I was a Baby. 

It's true.  When I first started eating things other than Similac and pureed everything, I got to eat things called Rice Rusks.  I love Rice Rusks.  They look like little surfboards, and they're really crunchy and light.  They've been compared to styrofoam, but I would say favorably compared, because I think they're delicious!  They were the most delicious thing I got to eat so far in my life!

Then came the Puffs.  They look like cereal, but they melt right the heck in your mouth, and they have wonderful flavors.  I loved those Puffs, and I still like 'em. 

At the same time I was introduced to Puffs, I also got to eat Cheerios.  Bleck.  I didn't like the Cheerios, because Mommy never bought me the kind with the little bee on the box.  She always bought me the plain ones, which taste like whole-grain paste.  I couldn't help but notice that she ate liberally from the box with the little honeybee on it.  It's that kind of hypocrisy that really sours a little kid on Big People-Little Kid relations, eff-why-yi.  It just does.

I also got to eat little drop-shaped snacks made of freeze-dried yogurt, called Yogurt Drops.  Those things are amazing.  I still eat 'em occasionally to this day.  They're just wonderful.

But what I really love about being me at the age I am (Three, in case you forgot!) is that I get to eat the same real foods that I see my Big People eating, every day.  Today, I'm enjoying a Peanut Butter Sandwich and a Graham Cracker.  Sometimes, I get Nutella on my Graham Cracker.  Sometimes, I get to have candy or cupcakes or donuts.  It sure beats watchin' my Big People eat those things in front of me, while I slurp down applesauce and pureed sweet potatoes. 

Yep, Friends.  Everything's coming up Zoe.  In the snack department and everywhere.  How about that?!

Hey.  I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' ya for our final finish to Christmas 2014.  Have a great Monday, Friends!  Muah!

Hockey or Christmas Programs?

I wonder if it's too late to ask for a DirecTV subscription of my very own for Christmas.

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday, the Twenty-First of December!

You know what's been grindin' my gears since last night?  I wanted to watch Frosty the Snowman and Charlie Brown Christmas after I got up from my nap, but Mommy and Daddy had the hockey game on and wouldn't let me.  They wanted to watch the hockey.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love watchin' the Sabres play hockey.  I just love 'em!  But.  There's eighty-some hockey games to watch, and if I do things like I did last year, my Christmas movie-watching happens only from now until March or April. 

It's true.  By this time last year, I'd seen all my Christmas specials at least a dozen times apiece, and I've seen all of 'em only once this year.  Of course, I've seen Charlie Brown twice, and Frosty maybe four times. 

I'm behind.

Friends, I wonder if it's too late for me to ask Santa to bring me a DirecTV subscription and a television of my very own.  Mommy and Daddy have said I'm never gonna have a television in my own room, but it's hard to argue with Santa Claus.  I think the Big Man in the Red Suit could make it happen.

Then I can enjoy my Christmas specials on DVR year-round!  How about that?!

Super Zoe, Revisited!

So they were on the Command Hook, the whole time?!

Hiya, Big People! 

Remember how I was telling you yesterday how bein' a superhero isn't easy, and one of the biggest reasons is because I always misplace my keys to my invisible helicopter?

Well, this is embarrassing.  I really hate to tell ya this story, but it's part of my personal narrative, so I've gotta.  After the post yesterday, Rozzie and I got into a big row over who's the superhero and who's the sidekick, and whose job it is to know where the keys to the invisible helicopter are (I said it was HER job, and that she'd lost 'em AGAIN!!) 

Things were said, teeth were bared, and then Rozzie pointed out to me that the keys to the invisible helicopter were right on the command hook... where I put 'em the last time we were out on our superhero business. 

Oops.

A superhero isn't anything if she can't admit that she's wrong, so I did, and for now, Wonderpup is the superhero, and I, SuperZoe, am the sidekick.  Because if I didn't agree to those terms, Rozzie was gonna put me in Time-Out in the glass box for a little while, like they're always doing to Loki, and I don't want that!

I think my super-power that's really starting to emerge as my most useful one is my ability to capitulate and compromise....

Superhero Problems

I forget where I put the keys to my invisible helicopter!

Friends, I don't know if you know this, but I moonlight sometimes as a superhero.  It's true.  I have a pink cape and an invisible helicopter and everything. 

Bein' a superhero is not without its own set of amusing little pratfalls, however, Friends, and by 'amusing little pratfalls,' what I really mean is 'annoying stuff I wish I could have not happen.'

For instance, my sidekick, WonderPup, doesn't realize she's the sidekick.  She thinks she's the superhero and I'm the sidekick.  Can you imagine the tension this causes in our relationship?  Especially when it comes time to fly the invisible helicopter? 

And then there's the whole naptime-bedtime debate with Mommy.  Doesn't she realize that the best superheroin' to do occurs precisely when I'm going to my nap or going to bed for the night?  Doesn't she get that?  You'd think that the pink cape would make her realize that I'm part of something bigger than sleepin', but she doesn't.  And the incessant naps and sleeps are really hurting my super career!

The most annoying thing I have to put up with, though, concerns the invisible helicopter.  I actually don't forget where I park it, because when I'm superheroing, I can see invisible things that are meant to be invisible (like hidden Christmas presents!  Ha!)  My problem turns out to be that I can never remember where the keys to the invisible helicopter are.  They're always gettin' misplaced. 

And if you think WonderPup ever lets me hear the end of THAT, well... she doesn't.

Line-Dancin' With My Dog

We like to move it, move it!

Friends, if you know me, you know I love to dance, and I also love my best friend Rozzie the Dog.  It was only a matter of time before I combined those two loves of mine and took Rozzie line-dancin'.

Well, it was kind of an odyssey, if you want the kids-honest truth. For starters, Rozzie objected to the musical selections.  She didn't wanna line-dance to 'Achy Breaky Heart.'  She said she prefers Coldplay to Billy Ray.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I like all kinds of musics, even Coldplay.  My current Coldplay obsession is 'Sky Full of Stars,' but have you tried line-dancin' to that?  I mean, maybe you could get a good vine-step going to 'Viva la Vida,' but it'd seem like a stretch. 

Finally we compromised and picked 'Leroy the Redneck Reindeer' and also the 'I Like To Move It' song from Madagascar, where the meerkats dance.  She also wanted 'Who Let the Dogs Out,' but I think she just wanted to bark along with that one, insteadda dancin' to it.

The next thing was that you wear boots when you go line-dancin'.  Rozzie refused.  She flat-out, straight-up refused to wear boots.  Even when I offered to let her borrow my fabulous pink cowboy boots.  She said she invented the Glute-Scoot line-dancin' step, so she doesn't need to encumber herself with boots, when she's got her glutes.

Fair enough.  With my pal Rozzie, you pick your battles.

Then she couldn't make up her mind whether she wanted to be in the front of the line-dance, or in the back, or in the middle of a row, or on an end.  My wonderful line-dance wound up bein' more of a Dance of the Irregular Polygons.  It's okay, though.  It's fun to do stuff with Rozzie, even if stuff doesn't turn out the way it's supposed to, in a conventional sense.

Because in the end, it's all about just spending time together and having fun.  And when I'm with Rozzie, it's definitely fun!

Just like when I'm with you, Big People!  Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  If ya see my Aunt Colleen today, wish her a Happy Birthday!  Or a Merry Birthmas.  She loves the heck right outta that!  We're down to a week before Christmas!  Muah!

Reason to Celebrate!

Another round of Skittles for me and my friend, please!  I'm celebrating something!

Hiya, Big People! 

Hey, have you ever had one of those colds where you think you'll NEVER not have a cold again?  And have you ever had to have antibiotic eye-drops?  And you think there'll never be a day where you don't hafta squirt eyedrops in your eyes three times a day, and have 'em sting, sting, sting?

Well, I have, this last week, and you know what?  I finished my course of antibiotic eyedrops on Monday night.  I have never been so happy in all my life.  I finally understand that whole saying about what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger.  In fact, I've made Kelly Clarkson's song that says the same my own personal anthem. 

For this week, anyway.

Because yes.  Those eyedrops were something else.  They were the most intense thing I've ever had to endure in my whole entire life, and I've had SHOTS!  I'd almost rather have a shot than the eyedrops.  Almost.  Don't tell Mommy I said that.  I don't wanna start anything.

Anyway, Friends, my friend Bunny has taken me out for some Skittles to celebrate my no more eyedrops, so I'll letchya go and I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Stay healthy!  Muah!

Back to the Advent Calendar!

I'm workin' on my 'Surprise! There's Nine Days Left 'Til Christmas!' face!  How's this?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, I'm back in the Life-Size Advent Calendar again today.  I really like spending my day in the calendar. 

You know why? 

Well, for starters, it's a lot of fun, and for seconders, if I'm workin' in the Advent Calendar, I don't hafta do TPS Reports for the whole entire day!

I've been workin' on my Life-Size Advent Calendar technique since I last occupied a spot.  I stay behind my door, and when the person opens up my door, I say, "Hiya, Friend!  There's nine days left 'til Christmas!"  Sometimes I'm given hot chocolate or sponge candy.  I got a donut and Bambinoccino, first thing this morning.

I hafta be careful how much hot chocolate and Bambinoccinos I drink, on accounta there not bein' a potty in the Life-Size Advent Calendar, and I've gotta wait for my reliever to get into the spot on the Advent Calendar.  So that's one way not doin' dideys anymore is kind of inconvenient, but I'm pretty good about keepin' it all under control.

So, Friends, I have a fun and exciting job to do today.  I love you lots, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, mmmmkay?  Muah!  Nine more days!  Hahahahahaha!

My Goodness, It's Monday!

Ten days 'til Christmas, Friends!  Are ya excited?

Friends, I know I marvel at this a lot, but it's Monday once again.  It sure the heck is!  These Mondays sure roll around fast, especially between Friday and Sunday, don't they, Big People?

I had a pretty good weekend.  I did a lot of restin' up.  I watched the Curious George where he gets sick and has a dream that he and Gnocchi the Cat shrink down and go in George to chase down Toots the Germ and the Germettes, so they can get him to leave George.

You know, I realize I'm a little kid and all, but if George and Gnocchi are shrunk down to germ-size, how can there be a big George for them to fly their spaceship into, to chase Toots and the Germettes out?  I get it that it was just a dream of George's, but that just strikes me as really weird, every time I watch the episode.

Where was I even going with this? 

Oh, yeah.  I spent my time restin' up this weekend, on accounta I don't wanna be sick during these last few days before Christmas.  I wanna not be coughing all the time, and I wanna be all finished with those nasty eyedrops. 

Darn it.

So anyways, Friends!  Happy Monday!  Here's a tip from your pal Zoe: pineapple juice helps with coughing.  I saw it on the Facebook, and bought some pineapple juice yesterday at the store, and it's true.  So if you get to coughing, get yourself some pineapple juice, and it'll help you.  There's science behind it!  How about that?!

I love ya, Big People!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Have An Ice Cream Sunday!

It's been too long since I've had an ice cream Sunday!

Hiya, Friends!  How's your Sunday going?

You know, I've been thinking.  It's been a long time since we've had a good, old-fashioned Ice Cream Sunday.  You know, where we get ice cream and chocolate sauce and marshmella sauce and maraschino cherries. 

Sprinkles, maybe, if you're into that.

Doesn't that sound GREAT, Friends?  A whole day, dedicated to ice cream and ice cream treats?

You don't hafta pick between chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or cookie dough or green tea ice cream.

Wait a minute.  Green tea ice cream?  Is that a thing?  Lemme wanna give it a goog... yes, it's a thing.  I'll take a passaroo on that one, but if you like it, you go right on ahead.

No, wait a minute.  I'll try any ice cream once.  Even green tea ice cream.

Heck, you crazy kids.  I'm convinced we need to do this thing.  We need to do Ice Cream Sunday!  Today!  Gobble it right the heck up!  I love ya!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

My Pink I Story

Those antibiotic eyedrops are just the worst, Friends.  Just the worst.

Friends, in case you didn't hear, I've been sick all week.  I went to my doctor and saw my pediatric nurse practitioner and you know what I found out, besides that I had a terrible, terrible cold?

I had the Pink Eye! 

The color pink is nice, and I like eyes, so you'd think that putting pink and eyes together would be tremendous and beautiful fun, but it really isn't.  It's awful.

I think the worst part of it, like the worst part of a lot of things, is the cure for the Pink Eye.  It could probably be worse, but I don't know how.  To cure my Pink Eye, I have to have drops put in my eyes.  Three times a day.    And lemme wanna tell ya about these eyedrops, Friends.  They sting.  I have to have Mommy SIT on me.  I don't mean to.  It's just that I see the bottle of eyedrops and I freak the heck out, like anybody would.

I know I need the eyedrops, and I know they make my eyes better, but they really hurt me.  Earlier this week, I thought Mommy and I were gonna be mortal enemies from here on out, on accounta those eyedrops, but I've since learned that they're for my own good, and Mommy gives me a big hug after she sits on me and puts the eyedrops in my eyes. 

I'm a survivor, Friends.  I really am.  And I'm not gonna let these eyedrops get me down.

That's my Pink I story, Friends!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow! Muah!

Days of the Week Derby!

Yeee-haw!  I love a Days of the Week Derby!

Friends!  Guess what?!  It's Friday!  If you've been keepin' track at home, Friday is my favorite day of the week.  Really!

And earlier this fall, I had the opportunity to attend a race.  A Days of the Week Derby.  It's a race where the seven days of the week go around and around a track, and the winner is the best day of the week!

Hey, look!  Friday wins!  Friday always wins!  Wahooo!

It was an exciting Days of the Week Derby, and all the days put in an admirable effort.

Except Tuesday.  Tuesday didn't even try.

Monday tried, but couldn't get off the starting line.

The other days of the week really put on a good show.  It was neck-n-neck between Friday and Saturday through most of it.  Once, Thursday started to crowd out the other days, but in the end, it was Friday in first place, Saturday a close second, and Sunday and Thursday in third. 

It was so exciting!  Friends!  I'd better letchya go!  I've got some serious Friday to do!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

It's Merely A Fortnight Away!

It won't be long now!  Do I have enough Number 10 bows?

Hiya, Friends!  Hey, you know what?  I just looked on the calendar, and I saw with my own two little big round eyes that Christmas is merely a fortnight away!

That means two weeks from today, it'll be the Big Day!

You know, I love Christmas, but I love all the days that lead up to it even more, I think.  This year, Mommy and Daddy wrapped up twenty-five of my own books and put 'em in a special bag.  Every night, I get to unwrap one of my books and we read it together, next to the Christmas tree.  It's so much fun!

I don't mind that I'm unwrappin' my own books each night.  I really don't.  You know why?  Well, it's because I have a LOT of books, and if Mommy and Daddy were to get me twenty-five new books for this particular Christmas Countdown tradition, I'd find myself without any other Christmas presents.  Besides, it's really fun to try to guess which book I'm picking out for the night.  My Roly Poly Christmas Countdown Book was easy to know, because that book's shaped like a box, but the Little Golden Books and the Berenstain Bears books all have the same shapes as other books in their series, but each title remains a mystery until I unwrap it, and even then, the other night, I thought I'd picked a Berenstain Bears book, but I really got my Little Critter book instead. 

It's so much fun!

I'm gonna miss gettin' to unwrap a book a night, actually, Friends.  Don't get me wrong: Mommy and Daddy read to me.  They read to me a lot every day and night, but there's just something super-fun about not knowing for sure just which book I'm gonna have read to me.  It really makes life lotsa fun for this little kid.

But I guess that's why the Christmas Season is so magical. 

Hey, Big People.  Like I mentioned at the toppa the post today, Christmas is only two weeks away, and I know you get all stressed out at this news, so you might wanna go wrap up some presents, or if you're really behind and stressed out about it, you might wanna go buy some presents to wrap up.  I'll check in with ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Whammo Wednesday!

Fifteen Days Until Christmas!

Big People!  It's Wednesday!  Do you know what that means? ... Well, I don't think it means anything significant, other than it's my friend Joe Camel's favorite day of the week, except that he's recently told me that he actually prefers Friday to Wednesday. 

I know.  That kind of blew my mind, too.  We'll get used to it, though, Big People!  We will!

You know what?  On Monday, I had to go to my doctor's office, due to complications from the cold I thought I was on Recovery Road from.  It's true!  They got me all fixed up, though.  I got some eye-drops and some fun medicine we hafta keep in the refrigerator and it tastes kind of like eggnog or bubblegum.  I'm not sure which.  It's all gonna be okay, though. 

It was a new experience for me, though, since the little colds I've had so far in my life have just gone away by themselves with good wishes and BabyRub.  The germs this year are just different.  Mean little boogers, if you'll excuse my graphic language.  Mean.  Little.  Boogers.

Friends, that just goes to show you that you don't hafta suffer through this Cold-n-Flu Season.  Get yourself to a doctor, and they can help! 

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow.  Muah!

Life-Size Advent Calendar!

I'm today's Life-Size Advent Calendar Ambassador!  Sixteen Days, Friends!!!

Hiya, Friends! 

Hey, you know what?  Last year, my company participated in a living Nativity Scene.  I think it's because my friend Joe the Camel would come around and visit on Wednesdays, making people answer "Do you know what day it is? ... HUMP DAY!!!"  Every Wednesday. 

I think our company participated in that living Nativity Scene so Joe the Camel had somewhere to go and spend his time, on accounta Management got kinda tired of him disrupting everything on Wednesdays.

But that was last year.  Joe the Camel has gotten over the Wednesday thing. He says it played itself out, so he just doesn't do it anymore.

The company still wanted to do something fun leading up to Christmas, so they decided on a Life-Size Advent Calendar!  Each day, someone gets to stay behind the door on the Life-Size Advent Calendar, and then when somebody comes and opens the door, the person behind it tells 'em how many days until Christmas!

I hafta say, it's one of the Company's more wildly popular schemes.  I love it, myself.  I've volunteered to do lotsa days in the Life-Size Advent Calendar.  It's so much fun! 

By the way, it's sixteen days, Friends!  Sixteen days until Christmas!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

I Informed You Thusly!

I've been harpin' on this since January, Big People!  Christmas is coming!

Hiya, Big People!  Is it Monday already?  Well, never despair, Friends.  We are one Monday closer to Christmas!

What's that?

Well, I'm sorry you haven't even started your Christmas preparations yet.  I'm sorry my mentioning the rapidly approaching Christmas Holiday stresses you out.  The fact of the matter, is, though, that I'm a little kid, and I'm excited about Christmas, so I'm gonna wanna hafta talk about it this time of year.

You know, now that I think of it, haven't I been keeping you up to date on how soon Christmas is since January?  I'm pretty sure I have been, Big People.  And haven't I been gently reminding you all year long to get crackalackin' on your Christmas ahead of time, so that when December arrives, you aren't all up in arms? You thought I was bein' annoying, but I was only lookin' out for you.

No, I'm not really sayin' "I told you so," Friends.  That isn't what I'm saying.  In the words of the great Dr. Sheldon Cooper, what I'm saying is "I informed you thusly" about Christmas, Big People.  I informed you thusly. 

So, I'm gonna letchya get to it now, Friends.  Take a deep breath and get crackalackin' on your Christmas.  Don't worry if you don't wanna wrap things up all fancy-pantsy.  There's gift bags, pre-made pillow-boxes, or even people you can pay to wrap your presents for you.  Your Christmas cookies aren't gonna bake themselves, but if you really don't wanna do that, either, there are people who LOVE to bake Christmas cookies, especially if you'd send a little money their way, in exchange for baked Christmas cookies.  I don't see anything wrong with paying people who LOVE Christmas preparating to help you with your Christmas preparating, if you really don't like it, or you don't have time.  I think it's a GREAT thing!

I love ya, Friends! I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

On Recovery Road

I'm maybe eighty-five percent?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, ya know, yesterday, I was sick, and I was also, the day before.  What great luck, to be sick on a Fridee and Saturdee. 

It wasn't all bad, yesterday, though.  I drank so much orange juice I swear I'm givin' off a golden-orange glow now.  I discovered the joys of ginger ale.  Oh, that stuff's good!  It isn't good to drink out of a sippy cup, though.  That got me squirted in the eye with errant ginger ale.  But it's okay.  I drink it from my Hello Kitty mug and feel fancy while I fight for my optimal health.

We watched the Polar Express.  I think we've pretty much watched that movie every Christmas for my whole life, and I know it isn't the first time Mommy's seen it, but darned if she doesn't bawl all the way through it, every time.

And you know what?  Mr. Noodle's brother Mister Noodle is in the Polar Express.  He played both the engineer and the engineer's helper and the whole movie is dedicated to him, on account of it was the last movie he was in before he died.  Finding out Mr. Noodle's brother Mister Noodle passed away all that time ago made me feel sad, but I get to see him on Sesame Streets that still have Elmo's World on 'em, and also in the Polar Express, so I think the actor Michael Jeter left a really nice legacy for Little Kids like me. 

After that, I got to eat some spinach with salt and vinegar on it, which is my favorite.

Friends, I'm gonna beat this darned cold.  If you're fighting a cold, too, we're in the fight together, Big People.  Lotsa liquids, as much rest as you can get.  Some good movies.  That's my prescription. 

I love ya, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sick Days Are Not Quick Days

Germs stink, Big People!

Hiya, Big People.  As you read my web log posting today, please know that I am suffering from a cold. 

I am not happy about this, no matter how hard I tried to find a way to be happy about this.  My forehead hurts.  My nose is stuffy.  I'm hungry, I think, but I don't wanna eat. 

I don't like Mommy and Daddy poking and prodding at me and trying to look in my throat.  My throat is my business, and I don't like it being violated by Big People eyes.

I'm tired, but I don't wanna go to sleep and miss something. 

Friends, I realize that Big People and other little kids get colds all the time.  I've had a cold or two in my day, as well, but normally, I enjoy a robust immune system.  So this minor interruption in my health just upheaves my world, my very sense of Who I Am, which would be a little girl who doesn't catch colds.

Anyways, Friends, I'm gonna go enjoy some extra fluids and tolerate some extra rest.  As Daniel Tiger says, "When you're sick, rest is best... REST IS BEST!!!"  So that's what I'm gonna do.  You just can't argue with a little tiger in a red cardigan, Friends.

I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!  (An air-kiss from a distance- I don't wantchyoo gettin' this!)

Happy No Matter What!

Even on the rainiest day, I find the sunny side!

Hiya, Friends!  Hey, you know what?  I'm a pretty happy little gal.  It's something I really pride myself on being.  Happy.  I love the Pharrell Williams song, I love the Clinique perfume, I love the feeling.  All Happy.

Happy is kind of a choice to make, Friends.  Some days, you can try and try and try, and still not be really HAPPY!!!  But you CAN try to find the bright sides to things.  That's what I hafta do, myself, but it's gotten really easy for me.

Well, ya know, earlier this week, I was workin' my muscles, and even though anatomical know-it-alls would tell ya different, as a happiness specialist, you listen to me when I say that bein' happy is like a muscle.  You can work on it, practice using it, and make it stronger.  You can make it more automatic.

It feels a little weird at first, workin' on your happy like it's a muscle, but the more you work and practice, the easier and more natural bein' happy will start to feel.

Pretty soon, you'll be like me.  Happy in just about any situation or under any circumstance!  How about that?!

Hey, Big People!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?!  Muah!

My Little Yellow Dump Truck

Harvert and I have some serious work to do!

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, I've kicked my holiday preparations into high-gear.  That's why I'm bringing out the heavy equipment.  Nothing helps me truck things from one spot to another and dump out those things like my Yellow Dump Truck.

I love my Yellow Dump Truck, because it's so useful, and also because it looks like the PennDOT trucks I see going around the roads at my house.  My Yellow Dump Truck doesn't have a snowplow on the front of it like the PennDOT trucks do, but it's still cool and super-useful!  And it has a little guy in it that drives!  His name is Harvert. 

Yeah, it's a unique name, I know.  But back when Harvert was just born and his folks were tryin' to figure out what his name oughtta be, his mommy wanted to name him Harvey, and his daddy wanted to name him Robert, so they compromised and came up with Harvert.

People often think it's a misspelling of 'Harvest,' and they think that's an odd name for a dump truck driver, but then Harvert tells 'em the story behind his name, and they think that's pretty odd, too. But Harvert's a really nice fella, so people can get past the odd name.

Plus, if they're like me, they call him 'Harv.'  That's an ambiguous nickname, as it can work for Harvert as well as for Harvey, so nobody hasta be any the wiser!

Well, Friends!  Harv and I have lotsa work to do, so I'd better go!  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

It Makes Ya Stronger!

Straight-arm medial delt raises are killer! But they make me stronger!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, I'm still exercisin'.  It really is a hobby of mine.  A passion, if you will. 

It's because it makes me feel empowered.  I am a little kid who likes to be in control, and when I'm exercisin', I am in control of those weights.  You bet I am! 

And, I get to listen to cool tunes while I exercise.  I try to keep things up-tempo, on account of how I like to use the music to count out how long to hold a repetition.  Could you imagine holding a straight-arm medial delt raise for an eight-count while listening to a slow-dance song?  I mean, sure.  Your muscles get stronger by being under tension longer, but there comes a point where you gotta just come down and start your next repetition, you know?

And.  I always smile when I'm exercising.  It makes things seem a little easier.  I smile, even if my smile looks more like a grimace or a gritting of my teeth.  Sometimes, I've gotta fake the smile until I make the smile, but in the end, I can give myself a great big pat on the back for exercising.

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Muscle Mania

My Little Pink Weights remind me to have Girl Power!  Roar!

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, ya know, I've always been kind of a Strong Little Kid, but that doesn't "just happen." I mean, some of it "just happens," but mostly, I have to work really hard to be strong.

I hafta eat right.  I hafta get enough sleep.  But most of all, I hafta exercise.

I know exercise can be a drag, Big People.  It's never been a drag to me, but I understand other people think it's a drag.  The trick to it all is findin' something you love to do.

Me?  I love liftin' weights with my Little Pink Weights.  I have one for each hand.  I can do all kindsa exercises with 'em.  I can do biceps curls, triceps kickbacks, double-arm rows, dead-lifts, and shoulder presses.  And that's the beginning of all the things I can do with my Little Pink Weights!  They're a versatile workout tool!

So anyways, Friends, exercisin' doesn't hafta be a drag for you.  You just need to find something you think is really fun!  And exercisin' is so good for you, and so good for your heart!  How about that?!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

This. Is. Awesome!

Christmas is twenty-four days away!  That's two-dozen!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's a new week, a new month, AND it's the Christmas season!  I can't begin to tell ya how whipped up I am about all this awesomeness!  I can't!

I have big plans for some big fun this month, Friends.  And I want you go come along with me.  It's already gonna be cold outside.  Christmas is already on its way.  It's December.  Ya might just as well be happy about it.

If you're havin' trouble gettin' non-miserable about all of it, just get yourself a nice hot beverage.  Bring a fuzzy blanket to wrap up in while you sit at your desk.  Maybe spritz some Christmassy room spray around your immediate vicinity.  Or maybe not, if you or a coworker is allergic or sensitive to that sort of thing.  Umm.... maybe bring in some fresh-baked sugar cookies?

Or there's always donuts in the conference room.  That always puts me in a good mood, Big People.  I bet it'll work that way for you, too. 

I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow, right back here!  Get excited!  Muah!

Farewell, Sweet November!

You know what this means, Friends: It's go time!

Friends, can you believe today's the last day of November, Twenty-Fourteen?  It seems just like yesterday I was working at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital on Halloween.

Not that I didn't work at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital yesterday, too.  It's a neverending grind, being a Humorous Healing Resident, well ya know.  I wouldn't say that I'm tired of it, because I'm not.  We all have those days, though, Big People, and today's one of mine. 

But I'm talkin' about how today's the last day of November.  I think it was a pretty good one.  I really liked the big Snow Finale over the weekend.  I love snow.  I did before, but now that Disney's Frozen is such a big part of my life, I love snow even more.

Every morning when I wake up, I look out my window and declare that I've plunged the Bing into Eternal Winter, or at least until the big spring thaw next June.  I use the living room furniture and blankets to practice climbing up North Mountain.  I pretend Rozzie is Sven the Reindeer.  I tried to convince her to be Olaf, because Olaf likes warm hugs, but Rozzie has a lot in common with Sven, too. 

If anything, Friends, I've learned I have to be a little flexible.  It just makes life easier.

So now we're saying good-bye to this sweet November.  Sayin' hello to December in the morning tomorrow.  You know what this means, don't you?  It means it's go time.  Holidays, here we come! 

I sure love the dickens right outta ya, Big People.  You have a great day!  Muah!

Don't Fight This Christmas Feeling Anymore!

I love Christmas.  A whole lot.

Well ya know, Big People, it's the Christmas season, and now that it's the time of year where it's appropriate for me to talk about Christmas nonstop, I am gonna go nuts!

I don't understand why you Big People get all skinny around the nose when Little People like me get all whipped up about Christmas and wanna sing Christmas carols in the checkout line.  It's two days after Thanksgiving, so I wanna see Christmas lights outside people's houses.  I wanna see the big, blow-up Snoopies on their doghouses.  I wanna see the light-up Santa and Reindeer decorations running across people's lawns and on toppa their roofs!

Bein' mad that it's the Christmas Season isn't gonna bring Summer back around any faster, Friends.  I think the best way to handle it being Christmas Season is to just embrace it, Friends.  Learn to love your fuzzy coats and warm blankets and snowboots. 

Just make sure to take the tissue paper outta your new snowboots. I forgot to do that, and my snowboots looked huge on the outside, but my feet were all jammed up inside.  Then I took out the tissue paper in the toes, and everything was right in the world again.  Why do they do that, Big People?  Why do they put big globs of paper in little kids' snowboot toes at the store?  I don't like it at all!

But I love Christmas.  I love it a whole lot.  And I love you, too, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Shoppin' and Droppin'

Orange is the new Black Friday!

Hiya, Friends!  I realize that today's traditionally known as "Black Friday," but with the way everybody was gettin' the jump on everybody else and opening up Thanksgiving evening to start the shoppin' stampede, Black Friday's startin' to feel quaintly tardy for the party, you know?

It doesn't matter one way or another to me.  I made all my Christmas presents back in the summer.  Yes I did.  They were macaroni necklaces.  I'm a Little Kid, and I can get away with giving macaroni necklaces for a few more years.  It lets me express myself creatively in durham wheat and it also keeps me out of the crazy fray of you Big People at the store this time of year.

But there is a drawback to pasta-based accessories and making them far ahead of time, and that drawback is that as I was stringin' the macaronis on the string, I got to thinkin' about how a big bowla Mac'n'Cheese would sure hit the spot, and pretty soon, that was all's I could think of, and next thing I knew, I was cookin' up my whole stash of Christmas Macaroni Necklaces. 

Oops!

But I'm a little kid, and like the macaroni necklaces themselves, I can get away with eating the presents I make for other people for a few more years.

I guess I'm gonna hafta figure out something with my footprint and fingerpaint instead.  I'll figure it out, Friends.  Don'tchyoo worry about me!  I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Is that the smoke detector or the timer?  Is my pie baked?

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thanksgiving to you!  Are ya watchin' the parade?  Is your turkey in the oven yet?  Or maybe you're fryin' your turkey this year.  Did you read all the instructions on how to fry your turkey?  The fire department would thank you for not starting a grease fire in your driveway today, Friends. 

You know, I was reading that there's this phenomenon that some people like to cook for big feasts.  It's called a "Turducken."  It's a chicken wrapped in a duck wrapped in a turkey. 

Personally, I don't have anything against sucha Frankenpoultry project as this, but I would have called it the "CluckDucKey" insteadda the "Turducken."

Because, yes.  Think about it, Friends?  "CluckDucKey" just sounds cuter than "Turducken."  Also, do you really wanna eat something that is spelled "Tee-You-Are-Dee?" right at the beginning of it like that?  Do you know what that spells?  I do, and I know I don't wanna hafta think about it at the beginning of my meal.  AmIRight?  And if you're writing about the Turducken, and you run out of room at the end of the line, and you have to hyphenate, it can just get all kinds of interesting in the wrong kind of way, Friends.

But, hey.  To each his or her own.  If you're havin' a Turducken for your Thanksgiving Dinner, party on.  As for me, I'm plannin' on loading the heck up on pumpkin pie and spray-whipped cream.  Huzzah!

And Happy Thanksgiving to you!  I love ya, Friends!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thanksgiving Parades!

Everybody loves a parade!

Well, hiya, Friends!  It's the day before Thanksgiving, and I'd like to talk about another thing that's unique to the Thanksgiving holiday: Thanksgiving Day parades!

Now, I know that you can have parades on other days of the year besides Thanksgiving.  Why, there are lotsa big globs of parades at DisneyWorld every DAY, from what I've read.  And of course there are Halloween Parades, Mummer's Parades, Fourth of July parades, Flag Day Parades, Old Home Day Parades, Easter Parades, St. Paddy's Day Parades, Maple Festival Parades... you get the picture.  If there's an occasion, you can bet there's a parade for that. 

But those are Other Day parades.  Parades that happen on Thanksgiving Day are Thanksgiving Parades, and they can't happen on any other day of the year, really.

What I love about the Thanksgiving Day Parades that I've watched for my whole life is the big balloons.  Those are just the neatest.  Sometimes I see some characters I recognize.  Sometimes I see new characters I wanna get to know.  I love listening to the marching bands.  I love it when the camera pans over the crowds lining the streets, and they look so cold, and I'm all nicey warm in my house!  Ha! 

I also love how at the very end of the Thanksgiving Day Parade, my pal Santa Claus comes riding in, on his sleigh.  I love that jolly old soul!  And every year, I use my magical cellular telephone to ring up Santa Claus after the Thanksgiving Parade, to congratulate him on another excellent appearance and to wish him the best over his Busy Time of Year!

I can't wait to see the Thanksgiving Day Parade tomorrow, Friends, and I hope you'll watch it, too!  I love the dickens right outta ya, Big People!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The Jan Brady of Holidays

Well, technically, this IS kinda unique to Thanksgiving...

Hiya, Friends!  Hey.  I know it's the Twenty-Fifth of the Month, and I usually give you a countdown to how many more Month Twenty-Fifths there are until Christmas.  (There's one, BTDubs.  One, and it's this one, because next twenty-fifth will BE Christmas!) 

But I promised this week that I'd focus not on the Major December Holiday that I love and look forward to from New Year's Day onward every year, but on what makes Thanksgiving special.  I promised to talk about what's unique to Thanksgiving.

But it's the Twenty-Fifth of the Month.  And I ALWAYS think of Christmas on the Twenty-Fifth of the Month.  That presents me with a Conundrum today, Friends.

You know what, though.  This very thing is another thing that's pretty unique to Thanksgiving.  Why?  Well, because Thanksgiving is a really great holiday.  It really is- you get a feast.  You get to spend time with family.  There's a PARADE!  There's PIE, far as the eye can see!  Thanksgiving! ... But no matter how amazing Thanksgiving is, we're all kinda distracted, lookin' toward gettin' the Christmas decorations out and up.  Plannin' Christmas shoppin' trips.  Deciding what cookies are gonna be baked for Christmas.

There ya have it, Friends.  Today, my thing that's unique to Thanksgiving is that Thanksgiving is like the Jan Brady of the holidays.  You can kinda see all the holidays sittin' around their holiday table, and Thanksgiving has a conniption fit and just shouts "All I ever hear about is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!" and then she throws a dinner roll and storms off.

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Thanksgiving Week Extravaganza!

I love cranberry sauce!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's Monday the Twenty-Fourth, which means it's the Week of Thanksgiving, and this is also the final Monday in the Month of November.  Black Friday is THIS Friday, and a week from today is Cyber Monday.  In other words, things are about to get hard-core in the Christmas Preparation Department. (Psssst.... have I directed you to my Amazon Wishlist?  Just sayin'...)

Anyway, Christmas is about to take over our lives after Thursday, I'd like to spend a little time focusing on Thanksgiving in the next few days.  I'd like to talk about things that are really uniquely Thanksgiving.

Today, I'm thinking about cranberry sauce, which I s'pose can show up at any meal, any time of the year, but I think cranberry sauce and Thanksgiving are a winning pair, don't you?  And I'm not prejudice about which cranberry sauce I eat.  I like the cranberry sauce that's like jelly, and when ya dump it out of the can, it's still in the shape of the can.  I also like the more relish-y cranberry sauce that has all kindsa things to chew up in it.

If cranberry sauce showed up at, say, a Fourth of July picnic, I wouldn't be mad or anything.  But I'd put a whole big glob of it in my mouth and think of Thanksgiving.  That's what would happen. 

Friends, do you have anything that just says "Thanksgiving!" to you?  Maybe we can raise awareness of this wonderful but overlooked holiday that's sandwiched between Halloween and Christmas by focusing on the things that make Thanksgiving so special.  What do you think?

I think I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends.  I love ya lots.  Muah!

My Week of Bad Advice

Next week will be better, Pints!

Friends, I hafta apologize to you.  In my post yesterday, I talked about line-dancing to "Achy Breaky Heart."  Ever since then, I have not been able to get that song out of my head.  I suspect it's been the same way for you, Friends.

I cannot tell you how deeply sorry I am for inflicting this kind of pain on you, Friends.  "Achy Breaky Heart" is an awful song, even though the dance is pretty fun.

Boyo boy.  I've been a complete disaster with the advice all week long.  I'd run my low-light reel, but honestly, the less I mention it, hopefully the faster we can all forget about my Week of Being a Bad Advice Dispenser.

Hopefully, hopefully that's how it works!

I think we all have times like this, Friends, where all our ideas are the opposite of golden.  I'm not gonna let it get me down.  Next week is bound to be better, Pints!

What's that? ... Why'd I just call ya Pints?  Well, because on Little House on the Prairie, Pa Ingalls usedta call Laura 'Half-Pint,' but she was a little kid, like me.  So if I called YOU Big People Half-Pint, it wouldn't make any sense.  So I figure you're regular Pints.  Some of you might even be Quarts or Gallons, but I'm not gonna go there, because I have already been Public Nuisance Number One this week.  Because of the Achy Breaky thing that I can't seem to stop mentioning.

Oh, Goodness.  I'm gonna go take a nap, Friends.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Love ya lots!  Muah!

Line Dancin'

This song is gonna be stuck in my head all day!

Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, I've had a lifelong love of dance.  I like to do interpretive dance, ballet dance, jazz dance, freestyle dance, and aerobic dance... just to name a few.

But I've never tried line dancing!

So I suited myself up in my line outfit- chevron stripes and a pink tutu-skirt are a MUST!  and I put on my pink cowgirl boots, and decided to put on some line-dancin' music and just learn this thing!  The music I picked was 'Achy Breaky Heart.'

Friends, the dancing part was really fun!  I took along some of my Little Giraffe friends, and we were all quick studies, mastering the moves of the dance called the Achy Breaky.  The unfortunate thing was the Achy Breaky song itself.  It's an earworm of the First Order, and it's so, due to a two-pronged phenomenon:

First of all, once you hear the song, it's gonna be stuck in your head for a while.  You'll be lucky if you get rid of it overnight in your sleep.  More likely, your dreams will be set to the soundtrack of "Achy Breaky Heart."  You won't be able to get away from this song, even if you delete it from your iTunes Library.  Also, if you keep the Weird Al version, it's funny, but it's an earworm, nonetheless. 

The second prong of the Achy Breaky is this: when you hear that first rift, your feet start moving themselves through the steps.  You can't stop it.  You can't fight it.  You just hafta do the dance from start to finish, and listen to the song from start to finish, and maybe, just maybe your brain will move onto other things and forget about this earworm for a little bit.

I'm also deeply sorry if my post today spread Achy Breaky-itis.  I'm very sorry.  But you know what they say: misery loves company!

Love you lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Golden Ideas

Not all my ideas can be golden, Friends!

Well, Friends, as it turns out, eatin' a whole buncha food in preparation for Thanksgiving isn't sucha great idea.  I won't go into the specific specifics on this matter, but there are some unpleasant side-effects of increasing your food intake.  I won't go into all of them, but I think you know what I mean.

One of the unpleasant side-effects I WILL talk to you about is that my pants were startin' to get kinda tight around the middle and bottom regions.  Not in the "Oh, how cute, I'm takin' a growin' spurt!!!" way.  No.  It's totally been in the "well, darn it, my pants don't fit!" way.

It's okay, though.  Bein' a Little Kid, I can burn off that extra butter I put on, and I can do it pretty fast.  I'm already noticing things are fitting better again.  But you Big People don't have the luxury of a revved-up Little Kid metabolism.

I didn't even think of that the other day when I suggested trainin' for Thanksgiving by eatin' more every day.  I didn't even think of that at all, Friends.  so don't do it.  Eat healthy amounts. 

You know, I have some really great ideas, Big People.  I do.  I have so many great ideas that I get to expectin' ALL my ideas to be great, but they can't all be. 

Here's my suggestion, just in case you DID start eatin' more food in preparation for Thanksgiving: switch to exercisin' more, to start reversing the process you've started for yourself.  Lessen the food, uppen the exercise.  Not only will you be able to fit in your pants by next Thursday, you'll also be in better shape for a game of my favorite game bollyhooba after dinner.  Or football, if that's the sport you like.

All right, Friends.  You know whatchya need to do!  I'll see ya tomorrow, and I'm sorry about all that bad advice I gave ya the other day.  I love ya lots!  Muah!