Dramatic Drama at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital

Whaddaya mean you don't see my name on the surgery board?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, I'm in my scrubs today, and for good reason.  I'm on rounds at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital today.  Has it ever been a doozy already.

I had a morning of patients all scheduled up.  My name was all over that surgery board outside the operating rooms.  Oh, it was gonna be fun.

I had badjokeectomies, back-to-back sense of humor replacements, a comedic timing pacemaker to place, and a spirit-lift booked for me to do today with my attending, Dr. Snoopy.  It was gonna be great!

Then I got to the hospital today, and one of the other residents, Dr. Chia, had taken all my surgeries, except one badjokeectomy. 

It was all over that board when I went home last night!

Boy, was I ever mad! 

This isn't the first time Chia's stolen my surgeries.  His attending is Dr. Lucy VanPelt, and is she ever a snotty one.  Last time this happened, she and Dr. Snoopy got into a chew, right outside of the nurse's station, and she called Dr. Snoopy a stupid beagle! 

Can you imagine?  A stupid beagle!

In my book, that's a lack of professional respect and courtesy.  But I have a feeling Dr. Snoopy got back at ol' Dr. Lucy VanPelt.  Not long after she called Dr. Snoopy a stupid beagle, I heard her calling for disinfectant.  I don't know what Dr. Snoopy woulda done, but I like to imagine he took a nice, big bite right outta Dr. Lucy VanPelt's hiney-butt.  That's what I like to imagine, 'cause that's what I'd like to do!

Anyway, my patients at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital LOVE me.  That's why my day was s'posed to be all fulla those surgeries.  I don't mind bein' busy, because that's why I'm here.  The busier I am, the more I learn, and the more I learn, the better doctor I'll be. 

Chia stole my surgeries again.

Lemme back up.  My patients here at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital LOVE me until Dr. Chia and Dr. Lucy VanPelt tell 'em that my attending is a stupid beagle and that I can't do their surgery because I didn't get my charts done, so I hafta spend time down in the pit doin' scut as my punishment, and also I'd mess up their surgery.  Then, no matter how much work I've done with a patient, to get 'em to have the surgery, they don't want any part of me doing the surgery.  They don't.

It's like I do all the work, settin' up a football for myself to kick, and just when I get a good runnin' start to give it a good kick, Dr. Lucy VanPelt and Dr. Chia go and yank that football away from me, just 'cause I'm a nice kid and won't slap 'em.

That just seems like something that Dr. Lucy VanPelt would do, doesn't it?!

Hold on! I'm bein' paged! It's the Chief!

Anyway, my attending, Dr. Snoopy tells me to rise above.  There's no sense of going around behind Dr. Lucy VanPelt and Dr. Chia and trying to make them look bad with patients, the way they do that with me and Dr. Snoopy.  That'd just make the whole hospital look bad.  I understand.  I don't want the whole hospital to look bad. 

But I don't like Chia winning like that, either. 

Thing of it is, more often than not, it's getting so that things have a way of evening themselves right the heck out.  When Chia steals my surgeries, I usually get paged to scrub in to fix it.  In the post-ops, if things start going sideways for a patient, Dr. Snoopy and I get put back on the case!  And the patients LOVE me again!

So this morning's surgeries mighta gotten stolen right out from under me.  Dr. Lucy VanPelt and Dr. Chia might be up to their tricks again, but it isn't gonna bring me down.  It just isn't.

You see, I have a special knack for spirit-lifts, and ya can't be good at doin' spirit-lifts if you yourself are all growly and mad.  It taints the procedure, and the patient almost always has to go back into surgery to have it corrected.  The vast majority of my spirit-lifts stay lifted right the heck up, Friends!  My laugh replacements stay nice'n'spongy and flexible!  They rarely go bad!

I get to scrub in and assist Chief on a rare triple-spirit-lift with laugh replacement! Ha!

I guess what I'm sayin' is that I AM wise to follow Dr. Snoopy's advice of risin' above and lettin' my work speak for itself while Dr. Lucy VanPelt and Dr. Chia go around trying to make themselves look better around here by makin' me look like a doofus.

It's true!  If I woulda gotten down in the muck with Dr. Lucy VanPelt and Dr. Chia this morning, over stealin' my surgeries, except for that emergency badjokeectomy, the Chief of Surgery himself wouldn't have paged me to scrub in and assist on a very rare triple-spirit-lift with a laugh replacement.  This is cutting-edge comedomedical work we're doing here at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital, Friends!  And I'm proud that I get to be part of it!  I don't hafta stand on somebody else to make myself look great, because I. Am. Awesome at this.

I'd better go, Friends!  I've gotta be in the OR in fifteen minutes!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!