Little People for the Ethical Treatment of Antique Jokes

Friends, how do you treat an antique joke ethically?

Friends, you know that joke about "What do a sunburnt Zebra and the newspaper have in common?...They're both black and white and re[a]d all over!"  Oh, I betchya do!  Everybody knows that joke!  That joke's been around FOREVER! 

And that's what I wanted to talk to ya about today.  That joke's been around FOREVER! and I'm not so sure it's as plugged into the zeitgeist as it usedta be.  Think about it.  I know that a long time ago, newspapers were all black ink and white paper, and even the pictures were in black and white, if there were pictures at all.  The funny papers looked colorful and vibrant, because they were printed with colorful inks.  But for my whole entire life, it's been more and more difficult to discern the real newspaper from the funny papers, on account of the whole newspaper bein' printed in color now.  Well, not the words, but definitely the pictures and graphics.

The only way I can really tell the difference is that there isn't much to laugh about in the real newspaper.

Speaking of the newspaper, there are so few around these days!  I know that there was a time when newspapers would print at least once a day, and sometimes you'd get an evening edition, too!  There was a constant stream of news flowin' on that newsprint.

We still have that today, but we call it "The Internet."

Do you see where I'm goin' with this, Friends?

Do you just let those old jokes keep on, even if they embarrass or hurt themselves?

I kind of think my old-joke friend about sunburnt Zebras and the newspaper is sort of a treasured anomaly in the modern era.  An antique of sorts.  And that leads me to wonder just how to treat antique jokes.  What's the ethical way to let the jokes still be themselves, but to acknowledge that they aren't as fresh as they used to be?  After a while, old jokes can get kinda brittle, and they break easier than they did when they were new.  If they're out and about and used too much, it could just lead to tragedy.  At the very best, those old jokes will embarrass themselves, but at the worst, they could end up shattered on the floor! 

But I don't wanna just put the old jokes up in the attic and forget about 'em.  I think that'd make the old jokes as sad as it makes me to see 'em get old.

I think there's a happy medium, Friends.  I hope there is.  Some nice space between the attic and just letting those poor old dear jokes roam freely, being a risk to themselves and others.  There's gotta be a way to respect the dignity of those old jokes and the contributions to comedy that those dated jokes made.  There's gotta be a way to honor those old jokes and keep 'em around a little longer.

I know! I'll present my old jokes as 'Classics' and use 'em only on special occasions!

I think I've got it.  I think what I'm gonna do is keep my antique jokes in a safe place.  Keep 'em shined up.  Keep the hinges oiled.  Keep the punchlines nice and crisp.  But keep 'em out of direct sunlight so they don't get yellowed and brittle.  Keep 'em away from humidity so they don't get moldy.

What I'm sayin' is take CARE of those antique jokes, lovingly, respectfully.  Keep 'em feelin' good about themselves.  And then on special occasions, bring 'em out and tell 'em as CLASSIC jokes!  You know, the way people who have those neat classic cars don't drive 'em on salty roads, but on nice, sunny days. 

I think that's my solution, Friends. I think that's how I'm gonna treat my antique jokes. 

Thanks for helpin' me work through that ballawax, Friends!  I've got some dustin' and polishin' on some classic jokes to do, so I'll get right to that and I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!