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| I have a feeling Trains are gonna plague me for the rest of my life. |
Hey. I've just had an epiphany, Big People. I think that trains are gonna plague me for the rest of my life. Does that sound weird? Well, let me explain.
In case you didn't know, I've been bein' nagged a lot about being potty TRAINED. It is a source of constant consternation for me. Because it's all the heck I get to hear about, and I'm sorry if I bombard you with mentioning it all the time. It's just very large in the zeitgeist around here right now.
If you think it's bad for you, Friends, just imagine for a second what it's like to be me, havin' to hear about it all the time, and feelin' like there's something wrong with me because I'm almost three and not through this stage of my life yet.
If you're talking to the right little kid, TRAINS have plagued them their whole entire lives, from the minute they were born. How so? Well, there's sleep training some little kids hafta go through. I don't even know what this is, because sleeping was something I was good at, anytime, anywhere, at any occasion, right from the beginning. But some little kids hafta be trained up on what's daytime, what's nighttime, and they hafta be taught how to sleep in their own cribs. I didn't hafta go through that.
Sippy cup training is another thing. Another way for you Big People to nag the daylights out of us little kids. This one DID happen to me for a while, until I just put an end to it. I didn't like any of the sippy cups Mommy was shoving at me. I liked my bottles. But every day, there she was with the stupid sippy cups. It's a well documented battle over on my show on the Facebook. Finally, some sippy cups with straws showed up when I was about three-quarters of a year old, and I couldn't help but notice how similar they are to Big People sippy cups, and I wanted to use those straw cups, so I just put down the bottles and took up the straw-cups. Just the heck like that!
I've heard, though, that the TRAINS and nagging about 'em won't stop after I DO decide I'm gonna potty train (and I'll tell ya what, Friends, it'll be when I'M darned good and ready!!!) Nope!
You see, TRAINS rear their ugly heads again in junior high school, with the dreaded Algebra Train. What's the dreaded Algebra Train? Oh, you know it, Friends. "If Train A leaves Cleveland at 0752 local time, and Train B leaves Denver at 0601 local time, at what time and in which city, if ever and if at all, will these two trains meet at their Algebra Train Convention, and will the train from Alberta, Calgary, CA, which left its station at 0957 Universal Time remember to bring the coffee and donuts?"
It's always gonna be trains, isn't it?
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