On My Honor as a Toddler

This usedta be a full-size Quidditch Goal!

Friends, did you know that when ya look at something through a microscope and you're holdin' the microscope backwards, it makes the thing you're lookin' at SHRINK?!

Not only is it true, but it's backed up by the respected field of Toddler Science.  I betchya thought Toddler Science was the study of toddlers, but you're incorrect.  Toddler Science is the study BY toddlers.  See the difference? 

Andy my fellow toddlers and I have found that when ya look at something the right way through a microscope, it looks bigger, but when ya turn the microscope so that you're lookin' through the little end, and the big end's focused on your object, that object will be reduced in size by however many powers your microscope was supposed to make it bigger.

Case in point?  That little loop I'm holding in my picture for today?  Friends, on my honor as a toddler, that little loop was, until recently, a full-size Quidditch goal, big enough for a kid on a broom to fly right through.  And I wanted to get a closer look at the Quidditch hoop, and I was so excited that I got all mixed up and pointed the wrong end of my microscope at the Quidditch goal, and the result is what you see in the picture.  Now it's tiny.  Thumbelina-sized, even.  And the weird thing is, turning the microscope around the other way, so you're looking through the correct end, that doesn't help one iota with makin' the hoop the right size again. 

I guess that's kind of a good thing, though.  Could you imagine if every amoeba ever viewed through a microscope grew ten times bigger, or a hundred times bigger, or a thousand times bigger than its natural size?  That would be terrible, probably!  Giant amoebae aren't exactly known for their excellent social skills!

Boyo Boy, Friends!  What am I ever gonna do?

Why are you looking at me all weird?  I did say on my honor as a toddler that's what happened.  You should know toddler honor is a very permeable and fluid thing.  Why, we will look you in the eye, tell you we want you to peel us an orange, and then after you've peeled the orange and picked off all that white stuff on the orange that tastes awful and makes us throw a fit, when you go to give us our perfectly-peeled orange, we'll snub it and tell you we wanted an apple or string cheese or pepperoni instead.  It isn't personal, Friends.  It's just how we roll.

Hahahahahaha!

Aw, I love ya just the same, Friends.  That is not a joke.  And I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!