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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Plannin' Ahead for Senior Pictures!

Zoe E. Blake, Class of 2030!
Hiya, Friends!  As the annual Graduation Season approaches, I feel compelled to think into the Future, when I'll be attending school. 

Well, most specifically, I find myself drawn to practicing for my senior pictures.  Everybody else in the world my age is thinkin' about their alphabet, and potty-trainin', learning their colors, counting, this thing called 'working together,' you know, things like that, gettin' ready for when they START school.  But it's my firm belief that it's even more important to think through and rehears your Big Finish.

I know I have lotsa time.  My senior portraits won't be taken until the summer of 2029.  I know that sounds like a long ways off, but I don't wanna have my eighteen year-old self immortalized forever in a doofy pose, or wearing lame clothes, or sporting crispy bangs (I'm talking to you, Mommy, and other people who graduated in the 1990s.)

Senior pictures are a really big deal!  I mean, of COURSE I'll learn to use the potty (when I'm darned good and ready, everybody!)  Of course I'll learn to get along with my peers.  I already know a good portion of the alphabet, I can count up to twenty, and I'm workin' on collecting all the numbers and ways to reckon them, I'm good to go on my colors, and really, by the time I get to school, they'll have changed their minds on how I'm s'posedta add and subtract and multiply and divide numbers again, so I'm not gonna wanna hafta spend a buncha my time learning my own way when I'll be re-programed when I get to school.

But nobody teaches you how to take a good Senior Picture, Friends.  There aren't any classes on how to pick the right outfit so you don't look like a dork.  There aren't any classes that teach you how to pose and hold your face so you don't look like a derp forever in your senior yearbook.  That's why I'm practicing so diligently now, while I still have 15 years to get really good at it. 

Being epic doesn't just happen, Friends!  You've gotta wanna hafta work for it!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

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