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| Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creepers are shady. |
Hey. Don't be mad at me, but I kinda wanna hafta have a serious discussion with you for today. I know it's Wednesday and all, and I usually like to be all festive for Wednesdays, but something's been botherin' me lately, and I wanna talk about it.
As you know, I love the Facebook. I have my own picture show over on the Facebook, and I love to look at things in Mommy's Newsfeed while I sit on Mommy's lap. Pictures of other little kids I know, funny cartoons, messages from friends...
I don't have a Facebook profile of my own, on accounta me bein' three. They don't let three-year-olds have their own pages, so that's why I hitch a ride on Mommy's profile. Everybody knows I do it, and I identify myself readily when I've taken things over.
There are adults who don't have a Facebook profile of their own, and they're quite proud of that fact. They'll tell anyone who'll listen that "I don't DO Facebook! I'll never do Facebook! I don't wanna be on Facebook!"
And that's fine. You don't hafta do Facebook, Big People. That's your choice.
The beef that's stuck in my teeth today are the adults who go through that whole thing about how Facebook is bad, bad, bad, and they'll never be on it, but then they use someone else's login information to look at that person's friends' posts on the Facebook. Some people are sneaky about it and don't tell anyone that they do it, and that's pretty unsavory, but the thing that really gets me are the people who log in under someone else's profile, and then brag about that person letting them log in under their Facebook profile, in practically the same breath that they'd used to tell all about how they don't DO Facebook. And they laugh about it and act like they're beating the system, and aren't they just super-smart! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Ha.
You might be sitting there thinking, "What's the big deal, Zoe? I'm not hurting anybody! I'm not doing anything illegal! Why do you hafta be so sensitive? Why can't you just let me go on, not doing Facebook on my own, but using someone else's profile if they gave me permission and their login information?"
Well... here's the big deal. You're not doing anything illegal, that's true. But what you're doing, using someone else's Facebook login information whenever you want to look in on people's online lives, it isn't right. It's sneaky, underhanded, and dishonest. It's one thing if they let you log in once and look around to see what the Facebook is all about, and then you either decide, 'Hey! This isn't so bad after all! I'm gonna sign up myself!' or you decide 'Nope! I don't do Facebook!' But it's entirely another thing to use someone else's login on a repetitive basis.
It's called being a Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creeper. And Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creepers and their Peepy Creepy Enablers are shady, and not in the nice summertime way.
It's like the Amish people and television. They don't have televisions in their own homes. They're pretty self-righteous about that, some of 'em. However, it's not unusual to find Amish buggies stopped in the roads, and the Amish kids peepin' through people's windows, to see their TVs. When I was a Really Little Kid, Mommy caught a coupla Amish boys peepin' through our living room window when it was just me, her, and our dog home alone at night, lookin' at our television through the window. On one hand, it was sorta harmless, I guess, but it was also really, really creepy from the perspective of us, who were in the house, bein' peeped on, and those boys were lucky to get to leave the property without a paintball shot at the middle of their backs or a butt fulla rock salt outta the shotgun. Mommy knew who those boys were, and she knows their parents, and she says she's ninety percent sure they didn't mean to be full-on Peeping Abrahms, but she said it still isn't right, lurking in the shadows, peeping through windows.
And that's what Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creepers on the Facebook are like.
What's the big deal?!
Well, lemme wanna hafta flip that question around to you, if you're a Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creeper, lurking in the shadows. What's the big deal?! If you're so interested in the online lives of your family and friends, what's the big deal? Just sign up for your own free Facebook account. You can still be a lurker, if that's the thing you're most comfortable being. Some people are just natural lurkers. But at least if you have your OWN Facebook profile, you're doing so, honestly. It's more respectable than skulking around using someone else's profile. It's more respectable than being all high and mighty about "NOT DOING FACEBOOK," and then logging in under someone else's profile. Especially if you go around bragging that you do such a thing!
It isn't funny, Friends. It isn't cute, Big People. If you're a Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creeper, you aren't beating any system. You're making yourself look sneaky, underhanded, and dishonest, plain and simple, especially if you tell people that you do it. And if you're a Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creeper Enabler, lettin' them glom onto your Facebook profile, you're violating the trust of everybody on your Friends List.
You're probably not the only one who does it, sure, but that doesn't make it right. If everybody you know went down to the store on the corner and stole a bottle of prune juice, would you go down to the store on the corner and steal a bottle of prune juice, too?
Big People, you have a choice. I don't. I HAFTA hitch a ride with Mommy for right now, because I'm not old enough to have a Facebook profile of my very own. I'm a CHILD. But you, Grownups, you have a choice in the matter. You don't hafta hitch a ride on anybody's profile. You can either do the Facebook or not do the Facebook, but let's be on the up-and-up. If you decide that you DON'T do Facebook, then DON'T. Do. Facebook. Just leave it alone. You've made your choice not to be part of it, so you need to be at peace with going without knowing what goes on there.
To put it in other terms, in case I'm being too abstract: you've been invited to be in a club that doesn't cost anything to join. People you know are there. They have fun. They can be themselves there (or for some people, they can be the version of themselves there that they wanna present- whatevs!). But you've decided that you don't wanna be in the club. You don't want any part of it. Except, you keep peekin' in at everybody else in the club through the window that your Enabler on the inside left open for you. Thing of it is, you can always just join the club.
Stop logging in under someone else's profile and then tellin' people you don't do Facebook. That makes you something worse than all of us who do openly and honestly use the Facebook.
Got it?
Well, Friends, if this post didn't pertain to you, I'm sorry you had to sit through it. I'm sorry I had to be stern. I just wanted to remind Big People that they set an example for Little Kids who see how they act, and I've seen this, and just couldn't keep quiet about it. When you Big People say one thing outta one side of your mouth, and then do something completely contradictory outta the other side of your mouth, it hurts your credibility and diminishes the ability of Little Kids to respect you. That whole "Do as I say, not as I do" bit is tired and old. Be the change you wanna see in the world, Friends.
If you're over on the Facebook, I'll see ya there later on. I'll see ya back here tomorrow. If you're not over on the Facebook, that's fine. I'll see ya back here tomorrow, as well. But if you're so curious about what goes on over on the Facebook, just sign up for a profile of your own, darn it! Because Mommy's got the paint-ball gun ready to surprise anybody lurkin' at the windows with, and she's started beefin' up her privacy settings to shut out Shadow-Lurking Peeping Creepers and their Enablers.
Fair warning...
Love ya lots! See ya tomorrow, Friends, with a happier subject! Muah!
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