April Fools!

FYI: They didn't turn the mailroom into a donut distribution center.

Well, hiya, Big People!

Hey.  Didja know today's April Fool's Day?  Well, it is, and I haven't been this annoyed since Joe Camel started coming around on Wednesdays, asking everybody what day it was. 

Remember how I didn't usedta like Joe Camel back when he first started coming around?  Remember how he'd annoy me, and I'd go hide in the Ladies' Room so I wouldn't hafta talk to him, and then I got to know him, and he's really cool, but he's gone to work on one of Donut Dude's Mobile Donut Units, so he doesn't have time to go around asking all of us what day it is.

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah!  That's right! 

It's April Fools Day, and I am more annoyed than I'd get when Joe Camel would wear out his jokes. 

I've gotten had so many times today on stupid April Fools Day stuff that I can't even count the times I've been had.  It's crazy.

First, when I just got in to the office today, I was told there was a meeting beside the pool on the roof, continental breakfast provided, so I went on up.  Guess what.  Not only was there no meeting up on the roof, and no continental breakfast, there's also not a pool up there. 

So I was struck with a triple-whammy, right off the bat.  Yeah, yeah.  Zoe's an April Fool!  Hahahahahahahahahaha... ugh.

Then somebody switched all my pencils on my desk to fake rubber pencils.  I went to write with one, and it was all wobbly and it didn't write.  Hahahaha!  April Fool!  They sure got me good.

The next thing that happened to me today was that I was told that I had to go talk to Human Resources, because somebody filed a complaint against me.  I wasn't sure what I could possibly have done or said to make somebody file a complaint about me to Human Resources, but when you're told you've gotta go to Human Resources, you go.  So I went, and by the time I got there, I was pretty whipped up and worried, so when they jumped out and said "April Fool!  Hahahahahaha!  We got you good!"

I ended up tellin' them all where they could stick their rubber pencils, and it wasn't up their noses.

Well, I guess everybody could tell that I'd had Enough of all this, so they attempted to make amends with me by giving me a gift certificate to the new Donut Distribution Center in the newly converted old mail room.

Granted, I was dubious, on accounta when I came into the building today, I walked in with some friends who work in the mail room, and none of them mentioned that the mail room had been converted to a Donut Distribution Center.  Also, I was just there yesterday, and it was still a mail room.  But a gift certificate for donuts is a gift certificate for donuts, so down to the mail room I went, and I'll tell ya, I really was kind of excited about havin' a donut and a Bambinoccino after the way my day today has been going. 

And do you know what I saw when I got there?  Envelopes and envelopes and mail carts and mail bags, but no donuts.  I thought maybe it was in a corner and I just wasn't seein' it, so I asked the mail room manager, and showed my gift certificate, and as it turns out, there is no Donut Distribution Center in the mail room, and I also got all bawled out for botherin' the mail room manager with a prank. 

It wasn't even my prank!

So guess what I did.  I humped up and bawled, right there in the mail room.  Right the heck in front of everybody.  I didn't want to.  I told myself I wouldn't.  And then when it started happening, I told myself 'Don't you dare cry in front of these people, Zoe!' 

As it turns out, I listen to myself about as well as I listen to Mommy, and now that I see how bad it is when I don't listen, I have a lot more sympathy for the old broad when I'm doing my own thing.  But that's off-topic.

I bawled and left the mail room.  The mail room manager just doesn't have time for that kinda drama, he said, and my friends who work in the mail room had mail to sort.  So I went up to Human Resources and asked them to put a stop to the April Fools tomfoolery, since I appear to be singled out for such hijinxery.  I was told I need a better sense of humor. 

So anyways, after all that, I may or may not have given the fellas in Maintenance actual cash-money to go buy themselves something nice at Donut Dude's and sit down for a spell, because those fellas work too darn hard anyways, and after they left, I might or might not have sat down at the Mainframe and set all the climate control units in the building from "Really Cold and Dry April First" settings to "Exceedingly Hot and Humid Middle of August" settings, and the settings are set to last until tomorrow at four AM, so the building can get warmed back up in time for work to start tomorrow. 

So now I'm at Donut Dudes.  I'm gonna spend the day here with the fellas from the Maintenance Department.  We're still havin' April Fools Day pranks here, but it's the kind where somebody says 'Hey, look at that man with a deer-head who just walked in!' and then when ya look, they say 'April Fools!'  They aren't mean to anybody when they pull their April Fools Day pranks. 

So that's that, Friends.  Sometimes, you've gotta just stand up for yourself.  That's what this kid did today.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Be nice, if you're pulling pranks today!  Muah!