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| It hurt like crazy, but now I'm smilin'! |
Well, you may or may not know this, but I recently had my ears pierced at the Ross Park Mall, when I was visitin' and palaverin' with my Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz. It was an idea that I was intrigued by, but also kind of horrified at the possibility of, yet completely dazzled by the potential of having bejeweled earlobes.
Danged if ol' Mommy didn't go and push the issue, though. She kept saying utterly out-of-line things like "When you're ready to have your ears pierced, I'll take you to Piercing Pagoda!, but it's YOUR decision." She'd be utterly pushy with me, whenever we were in a mall and happened to walk by these pagodas of piercing. She'd point 'em out, and have me take especial note of any other girls around my age, sittin' in the chair, and yet we'd keep walking past.
I was really tired of all the pressure.
But I was also really interested in getting my ears pierced. Evidently, I am not the youngest person in the world to have my ears pierced. Evidently, they pierce even babies' ears. I was told that I could have gotten my ears pierced before I was even big enough to sit up on my own. It made me realize that now, even at my advanced age of Five, it was not too late for me to bedazzle myself with earrings. So on the way down to the Burgh of Pitts on my most recent trip, I told Mommy I was ready. I wanted to get my ears pierced while I was at Aunt Colleen's. And Mommy said "okay!"
I immediately changed my mind. I figured something so fabulous must hurt a lot, and I don't like hurting even a little, not even for a few seconds. So Mommy didn't say anything more about it, as I used the rest of my trip to Pittsburgh to tell her all about how I really didn't wanna get my ears pierced after all... but I also really did wanna get my ears pierced.
The next morning, I woke up and looked at my completely unpierced ears. They looked as though they could use some sparkle, to catch up with the rest of sparkly me. So I told Mommy and Aunt Colleen I was ready, and they didn't waste any time whiskin' me into the Jeep and driving me to the Mall near Aunt Colleen!
But I had once again changed my mind.
"I'm okay with not gettin' my ears pierced," I told Mommy, as we walked into the Mall.
"Nah," Mommy said. "You're gonna do it. Aunt Colleen and I are with you, and it'll take just a few seconds, and you'll be done and glad that you did."
"But it's gonna HURT!" I said.
"It'll feel a little funny for just a second," Mommy said. "Remember that time you got into that ground-wasp nest at Gramma's and got stung?"
"What's that got to do with anything?" I asked.
"This won't be even on the same planet as that was," Mommy said.
"And remember how you broke your arm?" Aunt Colleen chimed in. "That must have hurt. Getting your ears pierced is nothing at all!"
Well, okay. They're both liars, but whatever. I got to Piercing Pagoda, and I hafta admit, I fell in love with all the shiny. I saw a pair of ladybug earrings I could have shot right into my earlobes, and decided those were my earrings! I got sat in the seat, and Mommy and Aunt Colleen would say I had an epic meltdown. I say I just reacted with the appropriate level of fear and emotion.
I'll tell ya what, after a few minutes of sittin' in that piercing chair, thinkin' about how bad it was gonna hurt, that first earring went in, and it HURT LIKE CRAZY! WORST PAIN EVER! I didn't want to finish, and the helpful piercing girl told Mommy she could bring me back when I was ready. Mommy told her to just get it done, and prised my hand away from my unpierced, not-hurting ear.
"Seriously, Just. Do. It." Mommy said, through her teeth at the girl. I tried to caterwaul so the girl couldn't hear Mommy's voice. And then finally, I felt Mommy let go of my arms.
"Just get it done, I guess," I said to the piercing girl.
"Honey, I pierced your other ear two minutes ago," she said. "You didn't even know it. Would you like to see?"
She held up a mirror so I could see myself, and sure enough, I had a ladybug earring in each earlobe.
I. Looked. Fabulous!
Instant attitude change! Instant life-change! I went and took a commemorative photo with the Easter Bunny immediately after, and told him all about gettin' my ears pierced. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he thought I looked fabulous. We went and had lunch, and I told the waiter I just got my ears pierced and had a whole new attitude! And he said I looked great!
So I'm glad I got my ears pierced, even though it really, really hurt, all up in my head, and also in my earlobes. I look fabulous, and I will never hafta get my ears pierced again!
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