Toe-Jammin'!

What? People squoosh grapes with their feet?!

Hiya, Friends!  As I might or might not have mentioned, I've recently visited a winery.  Bully Hill.  I didn't drink any wine.  I'm not even TWO yet, for Pete's Aches!  But I did have an epic meltdown in their dining room. 

Did I mention it? 

Well, if I didn't, I'm sure Mommy has.  And she loves to tell the story, so ask her about it sometime. 

Whatever.

My topic of inquiry today is that Daddy bought me an outfit that says "Official Future Bully Bill Grape Stomper" on the front, and it shows a pair of feet in sneakers dancing on a bunch of nice, round, purple grapes!

I looked it up, and apparently stomping on grapes is a way to get the juice out of the grapes to make into wine.

They stomp grapes with BARE feet?  You're joking!

I thought, surely grape-stompers wear special shoes they keep really clean for such a task as stomping on grapes which are going to be made into a potable.  I mean, Mommy and Daddy get pretty adamant with me that I keep my feet OFF the dinnertable when we're eating.  Something about feet being dirty, skxxxxxxxxxx!

And I thought this would be really cool, being a grape stomper and having a special pair of grape-stomping shoes.  I love shoes, and I love to have different pairs for different things.  I figured grape-stompin' shoes would be ankle-booties with easy-clean uppers, kinda like Crocs, but not Croc-shaped, and then the soles would be platform cork.  You know, to get the grapes used to being near corks! 

And I was looking forward to getting my first pair of grape-stompin' shoes!  I was gonna go for a purple pair, with little sparklies right in the easy-clean uppers!

Haha, wine drinkers! People touched your drink with their feet!

Alas, though, upon further researching by me, I found out that grape-stompers stomp grapes with their bare feet. 

Let that sink in for a minute, oenophiles!  (Pssst, that's a fancy word I found for people who like to drink wine!)  Grape stompers touched your drink with their bare feet!  No cork stomping-surface.  No Croc-like Easy-Clean Uppers.  Their Bare.  Naked.  Feet.

That's right.

So the next time you're at a wine tasting, you'll wanna really wow the other people at the table by busting out that bit of factology.

I betchya you'll be super-popular!  Hahahaha!