I Call It a Z Party!

Don't be sassy at the dang ol' tea-party!

Hiya, Friends!  What better way to spend a Sunday than havin' a tea party with your very best friends?  There's no better way!  So I guess you know, I just invited you. 

It doesn't matter if you're dressed up or not.  I'm wearin' a dress and a tiara, but I always wear a tiara around the house.  Somebody's got to remind Mommy where on the food chain I rank, just in case she starts to gettin' ideas about sendin' me for a nap or cutting me off'n snacks or the television before I'm ready to be cut off.

Well, okay, the tiara does nothing to stop Mommy from doing those things, because I think she just has that much of a problem with authority.  Whatever.  She isn't invited to this tea party.  You are, so let's not ruin the day by talking about my Mommy.  Darn it!

Anyways, it isn't as important to me what you're wearing to my tea party, so long as we all get to observe good manners while we're together.  Manners are what make civil life possible, after all! 

Sometimes I get a good talkin' to about my manners.  Sometimes I like to interrupt Mommy and Daddy while they're talking.  They get really mad when I do that.  Well, darn it, Mommy and Daddy are really boring.  They never talk about anything exciting to me.  They never do!  That's why I interrupt them!  To infuse just a little bit of excitement into the conversation.  Seriously, I don't know what they did before I came along.  They must have just sat around, talking about boring stuff all day!

So one way to have good manners at my tea party is not to be boring.  Can you handle that, Friends?  Just don't be boring.

Let's see. Also, we should probably use our forks and spoons to eat our imaginary treats with, unless it just isn't practical.  This is another one that I get hammered on, every darn day. For me, it's just more convenient to eat peas, salad, corn, spaghetti, tomatoes, and yogurt with my hands.  Forks and spoons get in my way.

The second good-manner rule for my tea party is don't yell at me for eatin' with my hands. 

The hallmark of a successful tea party is sharing.  Let's say you have something on your plate that looks good to me.  I want it.  You share it with me.  Everybody's happy. Don't believe me?  Well, trust me, Friends, if I'm happy, you're going to be a lot happier.  So let's just say that if I see something of yours that I want, it's best to just give it to me.  I'll write you a nice thank-you note later. 

This is how it is at my tea parties, because... well, I'm wearing a tiara.  And I'm three and a half. 

What I can't figure out is why nobody wants to tea party with me!  Huh!

Welp.  I'll tea party with myself.  I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!