French Friday

I like something that isn't very good for me.

Hiya, Friends!  Well, you know me.  I'm usually an eater of healthy foods.  I like fruit and salad.  Yes, salad!  I even like bleu cheese crumbles, just a couple, on my lettuce and tomato and carrot salad.  But recently, I've become acquainted with something called a French Fry.  I know these aren't all that good for me.  I know they're fried in fat and then salted like crazy. 

The thing of it is, I really like 'em!

See, while I don't shy away from foods that are crunchy- my Mum-Mums, carrots, animal crackers, and apples fit the crunchy bill, just to name a few- sometimes, I like to sink my teeth into something nice-n-soft.  A good French Fry fits that bill: it's sort of crunchy on the outside- not crunchy like a carrot, but you know what I mean, don't you? ... Crispy.  Crispy, I guess, is the description I'm mostly looking for.  And then, inside the good French Fry, it's soft.

Well, and then you add ketchup to that sweet, crispy/soft saltiness, and it's just mmmmmMMMMMmmm!

Oh, my goodness, I'm making myself hungry!

Over at my favorite restaurant, the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville, I've seen people put all kindsa things on their French Fries.  Gravy.  I'm actually talking about gravy.  That's what they do at the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville.  I've seen cheese on French Fries at other places I've been.  Chili.  Salad.  ... Or maybe the French Fries are ON the salad.  It really doesn't matter.  I'm not interested in any of these variations on French Fries.  Just give 'em to me normal.  French Fries, an' a bottle of good ol' Heinz.  I guess Hunt's, if you prefer.  I like the taste of Heinz, myself.

Some people get political about their ketchup, I understand.  I mean I understand they get political about their ketchup.  I don't understand why they get political about their ketchup.

But if I say no French Fries, ever, French Fries are all I want!

Anyway, I know if I eat lotsa French Fries, I won't enjoy the good health I currently enjoy.  I've been reading on the World Wide Web about what happens if you eat too many fatty carbs, which is what French Fries are, and it isn't pretty!  Too many fatty carbs makes your legs look like turnips, and it puts dimples on your bottom!  Or, it could make you get The Sugar.  I don't want turnip legs and a dimply bottom!  I don't wanna catch The Sugar!  I don't!

I don't wanna stop eating French Fries, though.  If I said I'm gonna stop eating French Fries, that's all I'll be able to think about.  Mommy told me she's made this mistake before, saying "I'm not gonna eat this anymore, ever!"  You know, M&Ms, cake, cookies... she says the minute she Swears Off Something For Good, that's all she can think about, and next thing ya know, she's bought a 5-pound bag of M&Ms, or made cookies or even a cake, and then she eats the whole thing before Daddy even gets home from work! 

Obviously, Mommy did this funny-business before I came along, because if I'd have been here, I woulda helped her out with all those things.  I love M&Ms, cookies, and you know how I feel about CAKE. 

I'll eat French Fries on French Fridays, and be happy with that!

But I'm talking about French Fries.  If I swear off 'em, they're all I can think about, so I've decided that I'll eat French Fries only on special occasions.  Like Fridays.  And I'll eat 'em in moderation.  So I'm calling today "French Friday."  You can participate, too, Friends.  And if anybody asks you if you hafta speak French on French Friday, the answer is no, because French Fries aren't really French.  If anything, they're Belgian.  But it just rolls off the tongue nice, doesn't it?  "French Friday."

That way, I have something to look forward to, which is eating French Fries, but I won't overdo it, because I'm getting French Fries every day.  And also, I'm not not eating French Fries.  It's all about balance!

Does that sound like a good plan, Big People?  I sure hope it sounds like a good plan, because it's the plan I have and the plan I've decided to stick to.  All right, Friends!  I love ya!  Muah!