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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Awkward Questions and the Awkward Answers That Answer Them

Hiya, Friends! 

Friends, have you ever noticed that there are questions out there that are just really, really awkward?  So awkward that when somebody asks you the awkward question, all you can do is sit there for a minute, with your face all like this:

I can't believe the question that just came out of your mouth.
I believe that's called "dismayed disbelief."  I believe that's what the above-referenced emotion is called, because that's what I call it.  Every time I'm asked if I have a "problem" with cupcakes.  Every time I'm asked if I'm ever gonna potty train.  Every time somebody asks me a question I JUST answered.

Well, it's awkward, you know?  Any one of those things is awkward, and also, they all are kind of related.  How many times since we met have you heard me be asked if I have a "problem" with cupcakes, or if I'm ever gonna potty train?  I'll tell ya how many times it's been.  Eleventy-kajillion. 

How do you answer the same questions over and over without just looking at someone and saying 'What. Did. I. JUST. Say?!?!?!?!!?!'
Sometimes I hafta close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Awkwardness.  Seems like around some folks, it's a way of life.  Seems like if it weren't for awkward questions, they wouldn't ask any questions at all.  And in the case of the people who ask me when I'm going to start potty trainin', I can't help but wonder if not havin' 'em ask questions would be a better option.

Think about it, Friends!  We all have those questions we don't like havin' to acknowledge, and we all have those people in our lives who seem to be able to only ask those questions.  For instance, for you grownups, you're probably not bein' asked about potty trainin', but you might be constantly asked when you're gonna lose a few pounds, or if you're single, when you're gonna get married, or if you're married and you don't have any kids, you might get asked constantly when you're gonna 'get with the program' and have some kids. 

Don't ask me awkward questions, and I won't hafta make this face.
My Mommy tells me that that last one is especially irritating.  I just wish she could remember how irritating that question used to be for her, when she constantly asks me if I'm ready to go potty-trainin' yet.  Because she's seriously like a broken record about that. 

Yep, it's too bad she can't put herself in my little shoes just for once, so maybe she'd stop and think before she uses the potty-word around me anymore.

Goodna's Aches, Friends. 

Anyway, for the record, in case anybody's asking for the eleventy-bazillionth time:

No, I do NOT have a problem with cupcakes.  I'm merely a cupcake enthusiast the way some people are sportsball enthusiasts.  We all have that one friend who can only talk about 'the game' the other night.  Well, I'm a cupcake enthusiast, and at least my topic of enthusiasm comes in a brightly-colored paper wrapper, with a mountain of frosting, and a king's ransom in sugar-sprinkles!

And I'll go potty-trainin' when I'm darned good and ready and not a moment sooner, so there!  That's what I have to say about THAT!

That's what I have to say about THAT, Friends!

I love ya!  I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  Muah!

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