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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I Get Ready With a Little Help From My Daddy!

What was I doing?
Hiya, Friends.  You know, sometimes, even though I wanna get out of the house and go someplace, I just have a difficult time getting out the door.

It's true.  Send me on a mission to get my coat-n-hat, and I'll find a compelling treasure along the way, which demands all my attention, and then don't you know, I forget all about my coat-n-hat!  I forget we were even going anywhere!

Or, ask me to fetch my shoes I wanna wear on our Day Out, and I'll get to visitin' with Rozzie.  She's so fascinating!  The places she's been, and the things she's seen- I'll tell ya what, Friends!  If ya ever have a chance to sit down and conversate with Rozzie-Dog, you should definitely take that chance.  You won't regret it!

Or, I'll be in the pre-ready-to-get-ready stage of gettin' ready, and I'll realize just what a mess my office is, and I'll get to thinkin' about how important it is that I get it all cleaned up right the heck now, because who wants to come home after a fun day out and find their office lookin' like I've been in there?

I'll give you a clue: not this girl.  Not this girl at all, Friends!

So I'll get to cleanin' it up.

Except, I was already in the pre-ready-to-get-ready stage of gettin' ready.  Needless to say, when I go down side-streets on the highway to getting out the door, it makes my Daddy kinda impatient.  Toe-tappin' - finger-snappin' impatient.

I think it's because to him, it looks like I'm stallin'.  I'm not.  I'm just easily distracted.  Do you know what I mean, Friends?  I don't do it to be annoying or to get attention.  I don't do it to procrastinate. 

I just get side-tracked easily.

It isn't just when I'm tryin' to get out the door that it happens, either.  No.  It happens to me at the office, too.  Why, just the other day, I sat down to fill out a TPS Report (I STILL don't know what they're for, either, Friends!), but my pen was out of ink.  So I looked through my desk drawer to find another pen in the TPS-appropriate colors.  No luck.  So I had to go down to the supply closet to sign out another TPS-appropriate ink pen.  But on my way to the supply closet, I noticed the water cooler jug needed replacing.  The new jug was sitting there right by the water cooler, and I like to be a good citizen.  If it was one of the Little Giraffes' turns to change the jug on the water cooler, it's awfully heavy for those little fellas, so I wanna help.

Ope!  He got me!
Thing of it is, changin' the water cooler jug is awfully heavy for me, too, so I got water slopped on myself, and I couldn't just go around with a wet outfit all day, so I went down to the bathroom to stand under the Dry-O-Matic hand-dryer until my outfit was dried back off.

While I was doing that, Pidgie McDougall came into the bathroom, and we got to talking about how neither of us likes Sour Girl, because she's sourer than ever.  And not five minutes later, who should come out of one of the stalls but Sour Girl herself.  Oopsies!  I guess Pidgie and I both learned that if you're gonna talk about someone in the bathroom, learn to recognize their shoes from underneath the door!

But it was Sour Girl, and she's obnoxious whether you're nice to her, or you're talking with your frenemy about how sour and unpleasant she is, so I figure I might just as well be truthful when it comes to Sour Girl. 

But Pidgie stayed, visiting with me until my outfit was dry, which was really nice of her, I thought, and she asked if I wanted to go down to the lobby and get some coffee from the Coffee Kiosk, since they were running a special- and they NEVER run specials.  Well, I WAS feeling a little peckish, so I said "sure!" and away we went. 

Then while we were down in the lobby, enjoying our special Coffee Kiosk treats, we were asked to participate in a survey.  We got a free water bottle and goodie bag, each of us, so we said "sure!" and filled in the survey.  They gave me a pen, but not a TPS-appropriate pen, but it got me to rememberin' that I was in the middle of something up at my desk, and I said to Pidgie on our way back upstairs that I needed a new TPS-appropriate ink pen out of the supply closet.  Well, Pidgie said she always likes a visit to the supply closet, and she doesn't know what TPS reports are for, either.

When we got to the supply closet, it looked like the Five Little Monkeys had visited.  Come to think of it, I think the Five Little Monkeys WERE in the building.  They must have taken a tour of the supply closet.  Hmmmph.  So Pidgie McDougall and I started putting the supply closet back in order when the forktruck ran out of juice, and we had to find an extension cord so we could plug it into the wall and get charged back up, and...

Oh.  Our supply closet here is the size of a small warehouse.  I know!  You wouldn't know it, from looking at the building from the outside, so I think there's some interdimensional mumbo jumbo going on.  I don't ask.  I don't think you should, either, Friends!

There!  I'm mostly ready to go!
Anyway, I finally got my TPS-friendly ink pen, and Pidgie was bein' paged to go back to the Switchboard, so off she went, and I got back to my desk, but Mitch from Accounting was going around, announcing that there were donuts in the conference room- that's a big deal around here- and of COURSE I didn't sit that out!  I just took my TPS report with me.  But Sabretooth got jelly from out of his donut on my TPS Report, and you know what?  I turned it in anyway.  It made the processor mad who had to process that TPS Report.  He called me right up on my direct extension and yelled at me for turnin' in a TPS Report with donut jelly on it.  I asked him if he knew what TPS reports are even for, and he said he didn't.  So I said maybe I wasn't the person he oughtta be callin' up on their direct lines and yellin' at, and he allowed as to maybe that was true, but next time if I get donut jelly on my TPS report, I'm s'posedta get a fresh report and start over again.

Jeez.  It isn't like they hang up the perfectly-filled-out TPS Reports on the refrigerator in the break room or anything.  They don't put 'em on the bulletin board in the cafeteria.  Goodness, the data processors are wrapped tight.

What's that? ... Oh, yeah.  I was talking about how when I'm tryin' to get ready and out the door, I always find something that distracts me, and I don't do it to be mean, but I just get distracted easily.

Good thing I've got my Daddy around, to get my shoes on me, and to find my coat and hat!  And good thing I have you, Friends!  I love ya lots!  See you tomorrow!  Muah!

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