I Dreamed A[n Olympic] Dream

If I could be a Winter Olympian, what kind would I be?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you may have heard, the Winter Olympics are happening.  This is my first Winter Olympics I get to watch.  I wasn't around yet the last time they came around.  I got to see the Summer Olympics back in '12, and decided I wanted to be a gymnast.

Back then, in '12, I was just a baby, and I didn't know there was a whole set of Olympics for the wintertime!  Now, this is an Olympics I can really get behind, as it seems like it's winter practically nine months of the year in my Bing.  Plus, my FAVORITE sport is the hockey, and that's on the Winter Olympics. 

So I've been watching the Winter Olympics to see what kind of sports it has to offer, and I've gotta say, if I could be any kind of winter athlete, I think I'd like to be all of them.

Well, apparently snowboarding isn't gonna be my sport if Mommy has a say.

I'll tell ya what.  Those snow-boarders have a pretty cool thing going!  I'd love to snow board!  Yesterday, after watching snowboarding on Saturday night, I tried replicating the snowboarding experience with a cookie sheet and some blankets on my reading nest, and while I thought it was the Greatest Thing Ever, Mommy disagreed with me. 

The things about mommies is that they have no idea whatsoever about what constitutes an awesome experience.  All's they can see is a little kid riding backwards on a cookie sheet down a hill of reading nest and fleece blankets, and they get their mom-jeans all in a bunch.

She just doesn't know how to have fun.

That type of thing will quash a little kid's Olympic dreams, right there.  It really will.

Mommies.

So the snow-boarding and skiing are out.  I figure if Mommy didn't like my work with a cookie-sheet, she definitely wouldn't like me practicing my moguls with a coupla of my board-books on my makeshift hill.  

Curling looks like fun, but it also looks too much like house work.  I mean, it's sweeping, basically.  They sweep the ice and make a giant rock move to a line.

I say nuts to curling, Friends.

Now we're down to a coupla things.  You know how much I love hockey.  You know how much I do.  It was my very first word, for Pete's Aches! 

I think I have the perfect solution to my Olympic Dream:

And I know how hockey players aren't supposed to like figure skating and ice dancing and all that wondrous stuff.  I know we're not supposed to like it, on accounta the tippy-toe skates and all.  

But here's the thing.  Have you seen what hockey players wear?  Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE hockey!  But.  They wear these padded shorts and padded padding that make everybody look all big and puffed up and boxy.  And they wear helmets, so you can't see what their hair looks like.  Not that that's a bad thing in every circumstance. 

And the figure-skaters and ice-dancers get to wear FABULOUS costumes with SPARKLIES on 'em!  They get to skate to cool music.

But who can argue with how cool it is to fire a puck past the goalie and into the net?

I can be a fancy-skatin' hockey player that wears sparklies on my uniform and helmet!

Here's what I'm thinkin': in my Olympic Dream, I'm gonna be able to do BOTH.  Learning to make all those dancy icy twirls oughtta help a hockey player with their spin-o-rama.  And who's to say I can't add a little zazzle to my uniform?  A little sparkly-sparkly on my sleeve?  A little flash and dazzle on my helmet?  

Friends, I think I CAN have it all.  That's my Olympic Dream.  I don't hafta choose between hockey or fancy-skating.  

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta locate Mommy's Beadazzler.  I have a tragically nonsparkly jersey to doctor-up.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!