Happy Woodchuck Day!

Happy Woodchuck Day, Friends!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's February Second, which means it's Woodchuck Day! 

I know that the more commonly accepted term is "Groundhog Day," but thing of it is, where I come from, we don't call 'em "Groundhogs."  They're "Woodchucks."  And all I really know about 'em are that they live in holes and come out and eat people's gardens they've worked hard to grow. 

Also, a buncha people in a town a few hours from where I live think the woodchuck can predict the end of winter. 

How?  How, friends?

The woodchucks even got to my imaginary carrot-garden!

It isn't based on whether or not the woodchuck has a little achy-achy in his arthritic knee that he hurt while playing in the Bothersome Rodents Basketball League a few years back.  It isn't based upon whether his hair is curly or straight when he gets up that day.  It isn't based on sophisticated weather-monitoring equipment, or even an app on the woodchuck's iPhone. 

Whether or not we get an early spring or an extra-large winter is all based upon whether or not Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow when they drag him out of his den.  He oughtta just flip a coin! 

Hold on. I'm gonna do the Spring Dance for ya!

Maybe that's what he does, when he hears the people of Punxsutawney coming.  He gets into his little woodchuck pocket, gets out his wooden nickel, flips it, and decides whether or not he sees his shadow, before he even leaves his den. 

I'll tell ya what I'd say, if I were Punxsutawney Phil, and people wanted to wake me up before I wanted to be woken up.  I'd say that the weather that's comin' is the exact opposite of what they want it to be, because I don't like being woken up before I'm s'posedta have to be woken up!  Good day, Sirs!  That's what I'd say, if I were the woodchuck!

Jeez.

It won't bring Spring, but it'll make ya feel warmer!

But the People of Punxsutawney have made a whole big Thing over this woodchuck.  They have a festival, and news crews come to watch, and everybody on the news talks about what the woodchuck said.  It's a big deal!

They even made a whole MOVIE out of it, back in the old days... the 1990s!

I bet that woodchuck brings a lotta money to Punxsutawney, in which case, it's Punxsutawney Phil makin' it snow today in Punxy, Friends.  He's makin' it snow money.  Good for him!  Good for them!

Well, I'm not about to keep a pet woodchuck around to make a festival like the one they have in Punxsutawney every February Second, but I WILL make a suggestion for how to make it feel like spring sooner:

Use your maracas to shake the cold off'n ya, Friends!  Shake 'em!

Do the Spring Dance!

There really isn't any organization to the steps or anything.  You just move your feet and dance, and pretty soon, you feel happier, and warmer, and even if it's gray and blustery outside, everything looks a little brighter when you're dancin'.  It's true.  Don't be a skeptic!

Well, that's that, Friends.  That's what I think about Woodchuck Day. ... Okay, Groundhog Day.  Spring'll come along when it comes along.  We just hafta make the best of it until then, which I think is kind of the whole point of today, Friends.  I kind of wish I were in Punxsutawney, too.  I bet they have diners there.  I love diners, whether it's summer or winter!