I'm Always Careful!

I guess a broken arm renders my "always careful" record null and void, huh?

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, the other night, I broke my arm.  The official name is a "right radial fracture," and the ER doctor said it's a "buckle" break, meaning I made my bone buckle.

Anyways, me breakin' my arm was just about the WORST thing that I coulda done, vis-a-vis my independence and freedom to decide how I play.

You see, the night after I broke my arm, it was Daddy's birthday, so I was doin' a twirling dance for Daddy I call "the Dervish," and I no sooner got started than Mommy and Daddy shouted out, "BE CAREFUL, ZOE!!!" at me.  To which I responded: "I'm always careful!"

Do you know what my folks did then?  The both looked at me, then at my splint, and then looked at me again and started laughing.  At first, I thought 'Jerks!'  and then I realized I'd definitely damaged my safety cred by fracturing my arm.  So I ended up thinking "Now these jerks are gonna think they're always right!"

But I kept those thoughts to myself.  I might be reckless, apparently, but I'm not stupid!

Anyways, I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

My Side of the Story!

I came home from the Emergency Room with a buncha swag!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Hey.  I've got a LOT to tell ya.  You see, for yesterday's post, it was my daddy's birthday, and I didn't wanna overshadow Daddy's birthday.  Plus, I hadn't had a chance to write my blog post for yesterday, and I wound up in the Emergency Room Monday night, so I ended up havin' to write my blog post in the ER on Mommy's telephone. 

That was an experience.

Anyway, here's the scoop on what happened.  When Mommy went into the kitchen Monday night to cook supper, I decided to practice a cool new trick I thought up on my bike, which involves ridin' my bike off the couch.

Well, that's as far as I got.  Ridin' my bike off the couch.  As it turns out, ridin' my bike off the couch isn't that good an idea!  It landed wrong, so I landed wrong, right on my right hand.  It HURT!!!  It hurt more than anything's hurt in my whole entire LIFE!

So I went to the emergency room.  It took five hours!  We didn't get home until pertineer one-o-clock in the MORNING!  And it turns out I have a little break in my right forearm.  I'm goin' tomorrow morning to find out more, at an orthopedic surgeon's office!

They didn't send me home from the hospital empty-handed while I'm broken-armed, though!  No way!  First, when I got my X-ray, the techs gave me a print-out of my arm-bones!  And I got to bring it home.  I'm gonna frame it!  Plus, they gave me THREE stickers!  And then the nurse noticed my ice pack I brought from home was warm, so they got me a REFILLABLE one!

I'll tell ya what, Friends, I left that ER feelin' like a Very Tired Important Person.  I wouldn't say that was my favorite way to spend a Monday night, but I will say they sure treated this Little Kid nice!

So that's what happened, Big People!  I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Daddy, Happy Birthday to you!

Today's my daddy's birthday, so if ya see him, tell him Happy Birthday!

He celebrated his birthday with me in the emergency room at the hospital, on accounta I rode my bike off the couch in the living room while Mommy was makin' supper.  We were in the emergency room for five hours: so long it turned into Daddy's birthday at midnight!  How about that?!

Turns out I broke my arm.  Not awfully.  Just a buckle fracture on my radius.  It slows me down, on accounta it's my right arm. I'm gonna see a specialist about it on Friday.  Until then, I have a cool ice pack from the hospital, and a really neat splint.  I like it a lot.  It's comfy, just like a SWEATER!

Well, anyways, it's a big birthday for my Daddy, and I guess you could say I made it extra-memorable for him.  Doin' things halfway just isn't my patoot!

So Happy Birthday, Daddy!  I love ya lots!

Hoppin' Down the Bunny Trail!

I bet the Bunny Trail is paved with jelly beans, Friends!

Hiya, Big People!  How was your Easter?  Didja get a new outfit?  Didja get lotsa candy?

I sure did!

Peter Cottontail hopped down the Bunny Trail and brought me a buncha neat stuff, especially some books, so I can make myself smarter while I'm sugaring up with the contents of my Easter basket. 

All the talk about the Bunny Trail over the weekend got me to wondering what this Bunny Trail really is like.  I can't imagine that Peter Cottontail settles for plain ol' asphalt pavement for his Bunny Trail.  There's nothing fun about that.

I betchya the Bunny Trail is paved in jelly beans.  That's what I bet!  If I found a trail paved in Jelly Beans, I'd definitely not mind hippety-hoppity happily hopping on it!  I betchya that's why Peter Cottontail is so happy, Friends.  How could you NOT be happy when you're hopping down a trail of jelly beans?  That's a rhetorical question.  You couldn't not be happy in that situation!

Friends, I'll see ya tomorrow.  I'm gonna hop on over to my Easter basket and select a chocolate carrot and one of my new books to read.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Hoppy Easter!

Sorry about the bad pun, Friends.  I couldn't help myself!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Easter to you! 

Well, ya know, I like Easter a lot.  I like that it's springtime.  I like the bright colors and the pastel colors.

I know yesterday, I was kinda sour about growin' up and not bein' a baby anymore.  It is a bitter little pill to swallow, findin' out that you're not the center of the universe, after all.  But you know what?  Growin' up has some benefits, especially right here around Easter-time.

You see, babies cannot hunt for Easter Eggs.  I am an impressive Easter Egg Hunter.  Babies cannot eat Easter candy.  I LOVE Peeps-n-Creme Eggs-n-Jelly Beans!

So I guess it's a trade-off.  I hafta realize I'm not the center of the universe, sure, but I guess it isn't so bad.  There's probably a lotta responsibility resting on the shoulders of the actual center of the universe.

Anyways, you have a Happy, Hoppy Easter, Big People!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

What Do You MEAN the Universe Doesn't Revolve Around Me?!

Gettin' bigger stinks.  It just stinks!

Friends, you know what I liked about bein' a baby?  Everything was about me.  It was like havin' an Express Lane in Life.  If I wanted something to eat, all I had to do was yell for it, and it was right there, in a hot second.  If I was thirsty, I just had to cry.  Boom.  A bottle was in my mouth before I could try makin' my head spin. 

When I was a baby, my happiness was first priority of everyone around me, and ya know what?  I LIKED it that way.

Well, now the heck that I'm a Little Kid, I'm findin' out that I am not, in fact, the center of the universe.  It doesn't revolve around me.  Earlier this week, Rozzie had to have surgery and get a back fulla stitches, and she was gettin' SOOOOOOO much attention. 

Well, ya know what?  I got a blister on my heel, and it reallllly hurrrrrrrrt, and all's anybody could talk about was Rozzie's back.  All's she had done was have a cyst removed.  I had a blister!  And while everybody was fawnin' all over Rozzie, would you believe I had to get my OWN Hello Kitty bandaid out of the drawer and put it on?

And when I called out Mommy for not payin' attention to ME and takin 'care of ME, Mommy looked me right in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Sweetie, but Rozzie needs me right now, and besides, the world doesn't revolve around you."

Well, this is news to me.  THIS is NEWS to me!  You bet it is.  And I don't like it one little bit. 

Friends, gettin' bigger just stinks. 

Good! Friday

This is how I always feel when we get back to Friday!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to you!

It's also Good Friday.  I don't think it's really appropriate to say "Happy Good Friday!"  I guess you'd maybe say "Good... Good Friday?"

Anyways, Big People, it's Friday, and that's always good, so good for us!

You know, every time we get back to Friday, it makes me smile.  I love Fridays.  I especially love Friday nights, because they're so full of potential.  The whole weekend stretches in front of a Friday night.  It's so full of possibilities.

So today's Good Friday, and it's a good day for lotsa reasons.  You go out and enjoy it, Big People.  I sure am going to.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Forever Four

So many clothes, shoes-n-accessories!

Big People, have I ever told you about my favorite store to go shoppin' in for myself?  I used to think Toyota was my favorite store, until I learned that Toyota is not a toy store and instead is a car dealership.  I guess I was thinking of Toys-R-Us or something, but I think Toyota is a snappier name for a toy store. 

Anyways, that isn't my favorite store to shop for myself.  Don't get me wrong.  I love a good toy store.  I love toys and shoppin' for them.  But there's always the justification factor when it comes to buying toys.  Whenever I want a new toy, do I ever get the third degree: where are you gonna keep it?  Are ya really gonna play with that more than a day?  Don't you have one almost just like it, just a different color?

The answer to that last one is if it's a different color, it's a completely different toy.  Of course.

But clothings are a different story.  There isn't so much with the justification and the grilling when I want to buy a new outfit.  See, as a Little Kid, do I ever grow fast.  And clothes are something of a necessity.  Usually, once the Grill gets fired up and Mommy and Daddy think they're gonna throw on a coupla justification burger patties for me to cook up to perfection for 'em, I shut that operation right the heck down by asking 'em if they'd rather I just run around naked. 

That sure as heck fixes their dang ol' wagons!  Of course I can't just run around naked! 

So my favorite clothing store for myself is Forever Four.  You grownups have your own version of this, I understand.  It's called Forever 21, and you picked 21 as the age to be, on accounta when you're twenty-one, you get the perks of bein' an adult, but mostly have the carefree, free-wheelin' lifestyle of a teenager still.  Kinda the best of both worlds, I hear. That's the same premise behind Forever Four.  When you're four, you get to do all kinds of fun stuff the bigger kids get to do, but since you're four, the expectations on skill, responsibility, precision, behavior, and attention span are significantly managed to the point of being lowered, it could be argued.  None of my never-mind.  Bein' four's great, and they really get that at Forever Four.  Their clothings are fun, fashion-forward, colorful, sparkly, pretty much comfortable, because we Little Kids are all about comfort...

That's something you can't say about your Forever 21 stores, Big People.  Some of those clothings in there just cannot be comfortable.  There just isn't enough to 'em!  But at Forever Four, we just don't have that problem.

So that's my favorite source for Little Kid clothings for the fashion forward four-year-old that I am. 

Hey, Friends!  I love ya lots, but there's a sale I hafta get to at the Forever Four in the Bingham Centre. Even I hafta wait in the checkout lines, just like everybody else, so I'd better go!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

My Own Micro Apartment!

Yep, I pretty much like my new micro apartment!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Well, ya know,  now that I'm four years old and all, I've decided that it's high time that I move into my own place, so I can set my own rules, eat whatever I wanna eat, whenever I wanna eat it, watch what I wanna watch on the television, and go to bed whenever the heck I please, not when some Grownup tells me I oughtta.

I got to lookin' around the real estate market, tryin' to see what was available to a kid like me, with my credit rating and income, along with my lifestyle.  For instance, I know I wanted an apartment or condominium, or a house with lawn and driveway service, because I just don't wanna take the time for lawn and driveway upkeep.  Pretty soon, though, I realized that a palatial duplex penthouse condo was just a scoonch out of my price range.  I had to think smaller.  Much smaller.  Like studio or efficiency apartment small. 

I turned my attention to Tiny Homes, and then Really Tiny Homes.  Even these pocket palaces were a bit much for my needs, or more to the point, my budget, so I am so lucky I found a Micro Apartment Building here in the Bing.  It's pretty much a shelf in a closet that fits me, but you know what?  It's cozy, and quiet, and clean.  It features blond hardwood floors and contrasting darkwood doors.  It's very modern and stylish and I loved it and moved in on sight.

I'm really happy in my micro apartment.  It offers me the best of independent living available to four year olds in the Bing, but still allows me to enjoy an active social life, as I have to go out for all my dining, exercise, and entertainment needs.

This is the life, Pals, and I'm livin' it!  I bet you wish you could be four again, just so you could be my neighbor in the Micro Apartment Building!  But I really wantchya to be happy in your own life, Friends.  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuney Tuesday!

Nothin' makes my day like music!

Hiya, Big People!  Hey!  It's Tuesday, and that means that it's Tuney Tuesday here at The Daily Zoe! 

If ya haven't heard of Tuney Tuesday, that's because I've never done a Tuney Tuesday before.  It's completely new.  I'm not sure if I'll do another Tuney Tuesday.  But today, it just so happens that I brought in my sparkly pink ukulele, and I'm havin' a ball, playin' it.

Oh, you know.  I like to play all kinds of tunes on my ukulele on this Tuney Tuesday.  It isn't important what I'm playing; the important thing is that I'm playing.

You see, music helps ya integrate all your thoughts in your head.  It helps your synapses connect and fire.  In short, music helps your brain light right up like a whole buncha twinkle lights, sendin' out messages, formulatin' great ideas.  Music's where it's at.

You know, Big People, I might just make Tuney Tuesday a thing around here.  Music is just too important not to listen to every day.  How about that?!

Hey, Friends!  You find some music to enjoy today, too!  Light your brain up!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Me and Beebster!

We've got some Little Giraffes to go rescue, Beebster!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday!

Well, ya know, I'm an adventurous Little Kid, always up for an adventure, and today's no exception!

Today, my adventuring is taking me to rescue a herd of Little Giraffes, location known only to me, my pal BB-8, and the Little Giraffes who are in need of rescuing, of course.  The Beebster and I are flying in my Magnificent Flying Machine to get to those Little Giraffes. 

BB-8 is pretty much the perfect partner in a Little Giraffe rescue mission, on account of him bein' really smart, and good at navigating, and also when we get to the Little Giraffes, BB-8 can get 'em on my Magnificent Flying Machine without scarin' 'em, since he just looks like a huggable fella.  Also, BB-8 has been on all kinds of more dangerous adventures long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, so herding up a buncha frightened Little Giraffes and helpin' me get 'em to safety is gonna seem like a piece of cake to BB-8.

Friends, I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, but BB-8 has spotted our Little Giraffes who need rescuing, so it's all about to get real here.  I better go.  I'll see ya tomorrow, though!  You bet!

I love ya lots!  Muah!

Spring Is Here!

I'm really looking forward to going to the Lake House in August, though.

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to ya!

So!  How's it going?

 It's been brought to my attention that Spring is finally here, so that's something to smile about!

Thing of it is, it's kind of felt like Spring all winter, really, if you think about it.  So it's no big patoot that now it's officially Spring, you know?  Not to me.

This kid's already thinkin' ahead to summertime, and goin' to the Lake House.  I keep talkin' about the Lake House, because I CANNOT WAIT!!!!, and Mommy says, "Cool it, Zoe!  We have so many fun things we gotta do between now and when we go to the Lake House, that you'll just be fast-forwarding through them and wishing away your time!  Don't do that!"

Well, her tellin' me not to do that just makes me wanna do it, you know?  I wanna ride in the kayak.  I wanna squirt with the squirt-guns.  I finally get my own room this year.  I can't wait for that.  I'm gonna be seein' the Lake from a new venue.  I can't wait for that, either. 

Tellin' a kid to cool it on lookin' forward to something like the Lake House.  Boy, sometimes, I wonder if my mother ever was a Little Kid.

Anyways, it's Springtime!  Wahoo!  Time to go out on my Swing and Slide!  I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Fancy or Smarty?

Sometimes I don't know whether to put on my fancy pants or my smarty pants!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!  Are ya keepin' Ms. Rubble away?  I sure am!

Well, ya know,  I'm a kid with lots of options every day.  Lotsa choices.  One of the most important choices I make every day, one of the choices that is most influential in the way my day goes, is the kind of pants I put on in the morning.

Usually, there's two different kinds of pants for me to choose from: smarty or fancy.

Now, when I wear my fancy pants, generally, I don't get spoken to as sharply as when I wear smarty pants.  I notice that when I'm wearin' smarty pants, people tend to have a shorter fuse with me, for some reason beyond my understanding, comprehension, and control. 

In light of this, you'd think it would be a no-brainer.  You'd think that I'd automatically choose to wear fancy pants every single day, to avoid the short-fusedness that results when I don my smarty pants.  Thingofitis, even the fancy pants have a downside: when I wear my fancy-pants, sometimes things feel overly complicated. 

A kid can't win. 

But you know what?  Wearin' my fancy pants and my smarty pants makes ME happy, and that's where I'm gonna choose from.  The space that's best for me, not the space where I find out what other people think.  You know?  I have no control over what other people think or feel.  I'm not even in control of whether or not other people even like me.  So I might just as well do things that make ME happy, and people can either be on board with it, or they can go see their own Ms. Rubble.  It's not my patoot to worry about it.

In case you're wonderin' which pants I have on today, Friends, I'm wearin' a rare pair of Fancy Smarty Pants.  How the heck right about that?!

Anyways, I love ya lots, Friends!  And I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Ms. Rubble

When I don't get enough sleep, I am Ms. Rubble!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to ya! 

Hey, I know this is a strange topic to talk about on a Friday, especially when I'm so darn smiley, but you know what?  The time to talk about fire safety is not when the living room's on fire, so the time to talk about Ms. Rubble isn't when I'm overtired and cranky.

That's right.  Usually, I am your sunny pal Zoe.  I'm agreeable, sweet, super-thoughtful, fun, and sparkly.  I mean, you know me, right, Big People?

However, when I'm tired and cranky, or a little sick, or a combination of lotsa things like cranky, overtired, sick, hungry, and just plain stubborn, I turn into Ms. Rubble.  And when I'm Ms. Rubble, nothing is ever right.  Nothing is ever gonna make me happy.

You'd recognize Ms. Rubble, Friends, from the screechiness my voice takes on.  Even I can hear this in my own ears, and I'll say to myself, 'Self, it isn't worth it to get all screechy and whiny and teary over gettin' ice cream in a dish insteadda in a cone.'  I really say things like that to myself.  But once Ms. Rubble's dug in her heels, which are crammed into pinchy, too-tight shoes that make her feet all blistery, I need outside intervention to make her go away.  When Ms. Rubble's in control, I sure as heck don't like it when my Big People try to intervene, either, I'll tell ya what.  I know they're just tryin' to help me...Zoe, but Ms. Rubble sees 'em as attackin' her, and she goes on the offensive.  Because when Ms. Rubble's in control, Ms. Rubble's in control, and there's no stoppin' her.

Usually a nap, as much as I hate to admit it, helps send Ms. Rubble on her way.  Cuddles help, too.  Sometimes, there's gotta be a Big Blowup to put Ms. Rubble in her place.  I'm always kind of relieved to see her go.  I'm not gonna lie to you.

Anyways, Friends, we all have our Ms. Rubble.  The best we can do is acknowledge her when she shows up, and try to schushel her off as soon as possible. 

I love ya lots, Friends, and I'll see ya tomorrow! Muah!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Just you try and pinch me!

Hiya, Big People Friends!  Happy Thursday to you, but more importantly, Happy St. Patrick's Day! 

As you know, on St. Patrick's Day, you're supposedta wear green, otherwise the leprechauns will come along and pinch ya. 

I have taken all precaution against bein' pinched on today, St. Patrick's Day.  You bet I have.  Not only am I wearin' my green Thursday underwear, I'm also wearin' green pants and a green shirt.  I've been eatin' lots of greens like broccoli and spinach and cabbage.  I've even been thinkin' green, by planning recycling strategies for the things I use around the house.

I am green inside and out on this St. Patrick's Day, but if that still isn't enough for the pinching-prone leprechauns, Big People, I am also carrying a sword today.

Oh, don't look at me like that.  I'm not going to sword the leprechauns!  That's not what I'm all about!  How could you think that?  Anyways, it's a plastic sword, so the most I could do to the leprechauns who'd wanna unlawfully pinch me is maybe leave a red mark, or if I swung like I really meant it, hit a homerun with 'em, or possibly raise a welt. 

It's the idea that I have a sword and a fearsome look on my face today that's really the take-home point of all this, Big People. 

I'm not to be pinched today.  No way.  I hope you're not to be pinched today, either.

I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Springtime!

Spring is neither early nor late, but precisely on time, Friends!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to ya!

Well, ya know, back in February, on Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil said we'd have an early Spring, and the Weather Woodchuck here in the Bing said Spring would get here when it wants to, and please will we shut the door to his den on our way out so he could get some more sleep.

And here we are, on March the Sixteenth.  I think we're pretty much turnin' the tides to Springtime.  I mean, yeah, of course it'll get warm and cold and warm and cold a couple-three times before it's all the way Spring, but I'd say Punxsutawney Phil and Weather Woodchuck deserve a job well done.

How about that, Friends?

Spring's a comin', Big People!  Get your gardenin' gloves and sunhat ready, 'cause we'll have work to do!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Betty Botter Bought Some Bettercreme

But, she said, this Bettercreme's bitter...

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Ides of March to you!  Besides "bewaring" the Ides of March, I have another thing Billy Shakespeare would be tellin' us to beware, if he'd been around to experience it for himself, and that is Bettercreme frosting colored with red food colorings.

You see, Bettercreme frosting is already kind of a letdown, all on its own.  You see it, and it's this fluffy mound of frosting, and you think that if it's Buttercreme, it's gonna be just heavenly.  You get your mouth all set for the cloud-like, just-sweet-enough buttery goodness that is Buttercreme frosting, and then you sink your teeth in and find... nope.  Bettercreme. 

Quite often, Bettercreme is too sweet, insteadda bein' just-sweet-enough.  It doesn't have a buttery good taste, on accounta it's either made with fake butter or Crisco.  It makes the inside of your mouth all greasy.  I think they make it too sweet, on accounta they way they want it to look all nicey fluffy, like real Buttercreme, but real Buttercreme melts different from Bettercreme, and that messes with the flavor.  So they dump a lotta sugar in to make up for it.  Anyway, that's how Bettercreme is already a disappointment unto itself, when ya thought you were gettin' a cupcake piled high with heavenly Buttercreme.

Then add in some red or pink food coloring into the mix, Friends.  From what I've gathered from what Mommy has to say, red food coloring made everything it was added to taste bitter and medicine-like when she was a kid, and it looks like someday Far Into the Future, I'll be tellin' my own Little Kid that red food coloring made everything it was added to taste bitter and medicine-like when I was a kid.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I think I could accept the red food color taste more cheerfully, if it accompanied actual Buttercreme frosting.  Unfortunately for me, the cupcake I'm not really enjoying in the picture for today was piled high with pink food-colored Bettercreme icing, so it was just a bitter, greasy mess all up on toppa that otherwise beautiful cupcake. 

If they'd'a had cupcakes frosted with pink Bettercreme frosting in William Shakespeare's day, you betchya he woulda written a play about it, and that play woulda been a tragedy. 

The way I handled that awful Bettercreme is that I just scraped it off and ate the cupcake plain. Because I do NOT waste a good cupcake, no matter how unfortunately it's frosted. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Pi r-Squared! Cakes Are Round!

The area of that circle is wherever the circle is located!  I am great at Math!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Pi Day to you!

I got all excited about Pi Day, on accounta I thought it was about Pie, not Pi.  There's a difference.  That seemingly superfluous "e" on the end of "pi" to spell "pie" makes all the difference in the world to the meaning of what today means.

You see, because today's 3/14, Math Enthusiasts call it "Pi Day," because pi represents 3.14 and is used to calculate the area of circles.

I don't really understand at this point in my academic career why a circle's area has to be calculated, when isn't it sufficient to just point to the circle and say, "It's right there, in that general area?"  But you Big People really go crazy, talkin' about Pi, calculatin' areas of circles, namin' days after Pi.

What I wanna know is where can I get a nice slice of coconut creme pi?  Or maybe a slice of pizza pi. I guess that's the way you fancy Big People celebrate Pi Day.  I fully support this.

Anyways, Friends, it's also Monday, so have a great Monday.  I love the dickens right outta ya, and THAT
needs no calculation.  How the heck right about that?!  Muah!

We Did the Timewarp Again!

I got here an hour early, but everything else, I'm an hour late on today!

Friends!  Hiya!  It's me, your pal Zoe! 

Hey.  Do you feel like you're runnin' an hour late, despite feeling like you got up at your regular time today?  Well, there's a reason for that. 

We've done the Timewarp again, Big People.  It wasn't really a step to the left, then a jump to the right, but we definitely did the Timewarp again last night!

You see, we changed our clocks ahead an hour once again last night.  Just took that dang ol' minute-hand and gave it a parade lap into the Future, and here we are.

This timewarp always messes me right the heck up, Big People.  I was used to it being daylight when I got up in the morning, and now it's dark again.  And then when it's Bedtime, I'm never ready.  I mean, I never am ready for bedtime when we're on Standard Time, so now after our timewarp, I feel like Mommy and Daddy are tryin' to put me to bed in the middle of the afternoon.  Because guess what.  It's still daylight at my bedtime.

This is ridiculous, Big People!  I don't like it.  Not one little bit. 

But I do like you.  I'll see ya tomorrow, Big People!  Muah!

It Just Isn't My Patoot

Cleanin' up just isn't my patoot, Big People!

Hiya, Big People!  So!  How's it going?

You know, if ya follow me, you know I am very specific about setting up my boundaries, personally, professionally, and literally.  Sometimes these literal boundaries involve makin' a defensive wall with the toys in my play room, and as it turns out, Mommy and Daddy have boundary issues, quite literally, with my literal boundaries.

See, they don't see the beauty in a Wall of Toys as a defensive structure.  In fact, they see my defensive walls of toys as nothing more than a "mess."  And they very strongly suggest- and I really mean COMMAND- for me to "clean up my mess!"

Well, ya know what?  Cleanin' up my defensive wall of toys just isn't my patoot, and I tell 'em so.  Sometimes I hafta tell 'em it isn't my patoot, even while they're forcing me to dismantle my brilliantly genius defensive structures.   They just laugh and laugh.  It makes me really mad, but Mommy says it isn't because they're makin' me take down my defensive toy wall structures.  She says it's because I say doing so isn't my patoot.

I'm not sure why this strikes her as so funny.  I really don't.  She says I don't know what patoot means.  I say I most certainly do, that patoot means thing I wanna do, or responsibility.  Somewheres in that ballpark.  It's a subtly nuanced word in my vocabulary.  Mommy says patoot is another word for "butt."  I reject this definition.

So there you have it, Friends.  Dismantling my toy wall defensive structures is not my patoot, and also neither is my patoot conforming to the conventional definitions of words I happen to really like the sounds of, but not the conventional meanings thereof.  If that makes any sense. 

Explaining in further detail is also not my patoot.  But you know, I love ya just the same, Big People.  And I'll see ya tomorrow.  That IS my patoot!

Muah!

Brock Lee!

Brock Lee and I have the power of healthy eating on our side!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to you!

So!  How's it going?  Do you remember my pal Brock Lee, the giant broccoli?  I betchya thought I'd given up on my ol' pal Brock Lee, but I haven't.  In fact, my post the other day about Kiddie Menu Hacks was actually inspired by my pal Brock Lee!

You bet it was!  You see, Brock Lee is something of a Healthy Foods Guru around here.  Brock Lee helps me choose healthier alternatives to traditional toddler fare, and for that I am so grateful!

For instance, whenever I'm tempted by a tower of French fries, Brock Lee points out that a bit of sweet potato mash is really tasty, and much better for me than the fries!  Or if I see something sugary and get to thinkin' that it sounds delicious, Brock Lee presents me with an apple.  I tried caramel with apple slices once, and you know what?  I prefer my apple slices all by themselves!  If I'm lookin' for something crunchy, insteadda lettin' me dive headfirst into a bagga salty pretzels, Brock Lee swoops in and gets me to noshing on little carrots and celery.  How about that?!

Everybody oughtta have a Healthy Foods Guru like Brock Lee!  Healthy foods give ya energy!

Hey.  I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking that your pal Zoe has been drinkin' some kind of crazy Kool-Aid to be talkin' like this, but in reality, I just like healthy foods.  And I'm glad I've gotten to know Brock Lee.  Healthy eatin' is where it's at!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Be the Smile You Wanna See in the World!

This room isn't gonna light itself up!  Better turn on your smile, like me!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you! 

So!  How's it going?

Hey, have ya ever wished that the world was a more smiley, friendly place?  Didja know that it can be, and that you can be part of what makes it smilier and friendlier? 

It's true.  Smiliness, friendliness, and kindness are all highly contagious things.  Maybe not as contagious as anger and fear, but with a little muscle behind 'em, smiliness, friendliness, and kindness can make an even bigger impact than anger and fear.

All it takes to get started is deciding you're gonna make the world smilier, friendlier, and kinder.  Then you start doing just that.  You smile at people you meet.  You say 'Hiya, howdeedo?' or whatever your greeting of choice may be.  Ya talk about neutral topics such as the weather, even though some people say they hate "small talk," but when you don't really know somebody and ya wanna reach out and connect with them as a fellow traveler on this lonely little planet, small talk is all you've got, just starting out.  You can get to the substantive stuff later. 

In the end, everybody just wants to feel like they exist, that other people can see 'em and acknowledge their presence.  I'd dare to bet that even the most curmudgeonly among us just wants to be acknowledged as a fellow human being.

Be kind, Friends.  We're all just travelers, tryin' to find our ways Home!

I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Zoe's Kiddie Menu Hack

My favorite vegetable and fruit are all of 'em!

Well, hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Hey, if you remember anything about me, back when I was a Tiny Baby, it's that I really looked forward to eatin' off the menu in restaurants, insteadda havin' Similac or little tubs of pureed peaches Mommy brought me from home. 

I always thought there was something so glamorous and delicious about restaurant food, even though I wasn't allowed to have any of my very own for what felt like a LIFETIME.  Friends, I'll tell ya what.  I will never, ever forget the first time I actually go to order something off the menu in a restaurant.  It was Jell-O at the dang ol' Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville.  It was red Jell-O, with a generous helping of whipped cream on top.  It was the best thing ever!

Once I got past the stage where all's I could do was gum bananas, though, I noticed something disconcerting about a lotta Kid's Menus in restaurants where I go.  A lot of 'em are a choice of Hot Dog, Hamburger (or Cheeseburger), Mac-N-Cheese, Chicken Nuggets (or Chicken Fingers, or Spaghetti.  Sometimes, you can get little steak medallions off a Kid's Menu.  At the Red Lobster, you can get a piece of tilapia fish. In a lotta places, to go with those entree choices, the Kid's Menu offers sides such as French Fries, broccoli, apples-n-grapes, applesauce, or cottage cheese.  Red Robin has an excellent fruit salad.

Thing of it is, I can't help but notice that restaurants are heavy on the breaded chicken foods and mac-n-cheese, and I understand that a lotta Little Kids don't like vegetables, but they love cheese and noodles and breading.  I am not like a lotta Little Kids.  I love fruits and vegetables. 

So here's what I do.  I've gotten so I don't usually bother with the Kiddie Menu, unless I'm at the dang ol' Red Lobster.  There, I get myself a piece of tilapia fish, a little house salad, and orange wedges off the Kiddie Menu.  I hafta ask for the little house salad separate, but it's so worth it.  At other places, I ask for a little house salad (with lotsa grape tomatoes if they don't mind, but if they do mind, that's all right) and a side of whatever their finest Kiddie Menu fruit is, and then I just figure if there's anything intriguing on Mommy or Daddy's plate, I'll just have a coupla bites of that.  Restaurants always bring a lot more food out to people than they really ought to be eatin', anyways. 

This is a win-win, you know, because I get to try foods that aren't chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese, Mommy doesn't hafta feel like a loser for asking for a to-go box and then forgetting it, because I usually eat enough off her plate to render the to-go box useless.  And I get to have vegetables. 

I know there's other Little Kids like me out there, Friends, and I just want 'em to know that it's okay to be underwhelmed by the Kid's Menu choices.  It's okay to ask for your own thing.  Nobody ever gave a Little Kid a dirty look for askin' for more fruits and vegetables!

Come to think of it, I don't think anybody would throw shade at a Big Person for doing the same, either!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The Show Where Nobody Wore Pants!

I am Zoe-RA! And I'm bringin' Bodysuits-n-BabyLegs back!

Hiya, Friends! Happy Tuesday to you!

Well, ya know, I love vintage television, and one of my recent finds is an animated television show for kids called She-Ra, and by extension, He-Man.  They're pretty much the same show, in that He-Man's always coming over to his sister She-Ra's planet, and they play the same musics on both shows.

The thing that was really striking for me, when I first watched She-Ra and He-Man, is that nobody wears pants!  I mean, Adora, who turns in to She-Ra, wanders around in a bodysuit like I usedta wear.  She's actually one superhero that's more covered up after she makes her transformation!

That's just remarkable!  Mommy told me that once I wasn't a toddler anymore, I'd hafta wear something besides a bodysuit and Babylegs legwarmers when I was out-n-about, but here's this whole entire television show built around a girl who looks like a Barbie doll, who goes around in her everyday life in a bodysuit and boots that look like BabyLegs, and no pants.  Not even a mini-skirt.  Just shows what Mommy doesn't know! 

This tears it, Friends!  You can bet that now that I have this knowledge, I am gonna start re-introducing the Bodysuit-n-BabyLegs look for my goin' out-n-about fashion looks.  If people give me and Mommy any side-eye, I'll say I'm Zoe-Ra, Master of the Universe!

How about that?!

Hey, Friends, I have some bodysuits to dig out from storage, and some pants to hide in storage.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  By the honor of Grayskull, I am Zoe-Ra!

Goin' to the Bing to See the Giant Basket!

This is how I'd look every morning, if that big basket were across the street!

Friends!  I've learned something extremely exciting, as you can tell from my extremely excited visage in today's photograph!  I heard that the people from Longaberger Baskets are movin' their staff out of their giant basket building into less exciting accommodations. 

If you aren't familiar with the awesomeness of this beautiful basket-shaped building, you click right the heck on this link and take a gander.  I'll wait!

I know!  It's so magnificent, I cannot IMAGINE why the Longaberger people wanna leave it!  But the reality is, they do, and do I ever have a plan for this giant basket!

First of all, I'd have my pal Paul Bunyan and his ox Babe go to Ohio and pick up that big basket for me, and they'd bring it to the Bing and plop it down in place of the Township Building.  There's nothing wrong with the Township Building, but a giant basket would REALLY be something.  Paul Bunyan could actually just schuschel the existing township building over into the field next door to it, and they could keep their equipment in there, still, but the voting and township meetings and regular business could move into luxurious accommodations on the top floor so that everybody doing township business can look out of the windows and see the splendor that is the Bing. 

On the ground floor will be a magnificent food court and convenience store space, for those little essentials a person needs, as well as a world-class gift shop, fulla basket-and-Bing-themed merchandise.  On the remaining four floors, I envision mixed-use offices, retail space, event venues, meeting rooms, and a sit-down restaurant.

See?  I have a plan.

Now, skeptics might say that the giant basket has NOTHING to do with the Bing, but I say it doesn't have anything to do with the Bing YET.  There's a difference.  You just wait, Big People.  Once that giant basket is here, people won't be able to think of the Bing WITHOUT thinkin' about that big, beautiful basket building! 

Be a Bing Basket Believer, Friends!  I sure as all get-out am!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Tee Minus One Week 'Til Spring Ahead

At least we're closer to Summer when we Spring Ahead!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to ya!

Hey, you know what?  In a week from today, we'll be turnin' our clocks ahead.  Some of you like to call it 'Spring Ahead.' Me?  I call it 'Feelin' Like I'm Runnin' Late Everywhere I Go for the Next Few Weeks.'

It's true.  My clock inside me is governed by Mother Nature, not The Man.  So in my experience of Spring Ahead for my whole life, and this'll be my FIFTH Spring Ahead, I will be even less ready to go to bed at bedtime, and will likely be a little slowed-down in the morning, on accounta my body-clock thinks I have an hour of sleep left, but the Clock of the Man says it's time to rise and shine and start hecklin' the daylights outta my folks.

Anyways, we don't Spring Ahead today, but we do in less than a week now, and I just wantchya all to prepare for it, Friends, however you might do just that.  I don't have any ideas for ya, actually.  I wish I did.  I know I'm usually your girl to come to when you need answers.  I usually have an answer for everything.  Not this, though, I'm sorry to say.  I mean, I roll with Spring Ahead sort of undramatically, because I hafta, and there's no choice but to go along with it, but I really don't start to comin' around to Spring Ahead until May or June.  You know, when I can really see results. 

Anyway.  Let's enjoy our last week of Standard Time and daylight in the early morning while we have it, Friends.  I love ya lots!  And I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Not All Ricottage Cheese Was Created Equal

There's nothing wrong with knowin' what your favorite things are, Friends!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you.  So!  How's it going?

Well, ya know, I'm a kid with a taste for the finer things in life, and that makes me kind of an expert in... well, the finer things in life. 

Anyways, the other day, I told Mommy I wanted some Ricottage Cheese.  You know the kind I'm talkin' about.  It comes in a tub, and ya scoop it out into a dish and eat it.  And as it turned, out, we had some Ricottage Cheese in the fridge!  How about that?!

Mommy let me pick out my dish, and let me pick out my spoon, and then I saw it: the tubba Ricottage Cheese.  What a disaster.  It was dark blue with a stupid bird on it.  I like the Ricottage Cheese that Gramma buys, which comes in a white tub with a big letter C on it. 

Needless to say, I was NOT lettin' anybody feed me inferior Ricottage Cheese from the dark blue tub with the stupid bird on it.  And needless to say, this made Mommy mad, on accounta she'd already scooped me out a portion of that inferior Ricottage Cheese.  And then do you know what she did?  She told me it's the same exact thing Gramma buys, but it just comes in a different tub, is all.  She said all Ricottage Cheese is the same!

I don't know if Mommy thinks I was born yesterday or what, but I'm definitely not fallin' for that trick.  You and I both know, Big People, that not all Ricottage Cheese is created equal.

Hmmmmmph.

Not Spring Yet Break!

I'm going on Spring Break in my dang old head, that's for sure!

Big People!  Guess what?!

It's Friday already!  How the heck right about that?!

Well, ya know, a lotta people older than me are goin' on Spring Break starting this afternoon or this evening.  Spring Break happens when the college shuts down for a weeker so, all the kids get on planes, and head to ... well, I guess wherever college kids go for Spring Break.  What an interesting phenomenon!

I'm not going on an actual Spring Break myself.  It's okay. I have plenty of ideas of where I'd go for Spring Break, if I were going on Spring Break. 

I'm thinking I'd probably hop on a dang ol' plane or maybe the Autotrain with my pink pedal car and go down to Disney World to see my pal Mickey Mouse and talk marvelous hair accessories with my friend Minnie Mouse.  Maybe I'd even work in her bow-tique for my Spring Break.  That'd be a lotta fun, if ya ask me!  I bet it'd also be a lotta fun to drive around Disney World on all that pavement. 

Friends, I've gotta tell you.  I love my pink pedal car, but unless I can drive it (carefully) in the dang ol' house, I hafta drive it on the gravel outside, and guess what.  Gravel is HARD to pedal on!  I mean, I know it's extra resistance, and that it's great for my quads, hammies, and glutes, but there's a line between excellent exercise and justa pain in the neck... or legs, as the case may be.  All that pavement at dang ol' Disney World sounds like a pedal-car driver's dream come true!

So that's my thoughts on Not Spring Yet Break!  It still sounds like a great way to whoop it up and if you get to, Big People, please do!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow! Muah!

Zoe Style

A smile is my most important accessory when I'm kickin' it Zoe-Style!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to ya!

Well, ya know, if ya follow me, you know I follow the fashion.  Or more to the point, I make my own style.  There's a difference. 

You see, fashion is transient and temporary.  One day, Fashion says ripped-up jeans are The Thing, and the next, if you don't turn up in skinny tuxedo pants, you're o-u-t out.  Fashion can be fun, but it's also very fickle. 

That's why I carefully curate my own STYLE.  Style is just how I am.  It's a certain aesthetic.  For instance, I'm a big proponent of the bright pattern, the unexpected detail.  For instance, get a loada my outfit today.  Eric Carle-inspired dots topped off with a pink faux fur vest.  Not everybody could carry off that look, but I can.  And of course, I wear my hair in a whimsical but functional side-braid, to keep it out of my face and finish the look off with a smile. The smile is the most important part.  That's what makes me Me!

I don't mind if people imitate my style.  That's sincere flattery, after all.  But I kinda wish they wouldn't.  You see, my style is MY style.  I work it, I flaunt it, I own it, I love it.  It's mine.  What works best on me won't work on anyone else.  They can take elements of my style, but I just really want everyone to make their OWN style, right, Friends?

The hard part is figuring out what your own style is, and the even harder part about that is that I don't even know how to tell ya where to begin, other than to pay attention to what definitely doesn't feel like your style.  If it feels like you borrowed a look from your frumpiest/most flamboyant/ most emo or goth/ most conservative friend, or if it feels like a uniform you can't wait to get off you, chances are, that look just isn't for you.  That isn't your style.  If ya hafta try too hard, that style isn't for you.  If it feels like the clothes are wearin' you, that style isn't for you. 

Soon enough, you'll start to see a pattern of the things you gravitate to and the things that make it easy for you to smile, and then you'll know you've landed on your very own style.

Be yourself, Big People!  Unless you're a jerk.  Don't be a jerk.  If you're a jerk, work on not being a jerk.  Otherwise, be yourself.  How about that?!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

It's March, Therefore I Ride!

A ride on a trusty horse is a soothing way to start the month, Big People!

Well, Hiya, Big People!  Wonderful Wednesday to ya!

As you know, March marched in yesterday, after having been delayed by an extra day for February, which was actually a really nice day.

Now that it's March, though, you're probably thinking that I'm gonna kick it off by marching somewheres.  Although this is a perfectly nice thing to think of doing, you couldn't be more wrong.  Actually, you couldn't be more wrong if you thought I was gonna roll everywhere, as in, roll like a little log or BB-8.  Rolling is not how I roll.  Certainly not in March!

Nope!  As you can see, I'm RIDIN'!  I visited my pal Sparky at the Arnot Mall and took a nice, leisurely canter through the Canyons of Commercialism with a side-trip through the Retail Ravine.  It's just my happy place, you know?  I don't even hafta buy anything, although I certainly like to. It's more about getting out of the house, you know?  Visiting with my pal Sparky.

Hey, Friends!  I love ya lots.  I know you have a lot to do today, plannin' out how you want your March Through March to go!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The Crayon Is Mightier Than the Plastic Sword!

I've got the power!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!

So!  How's it goin'?

Today, I wanna talk to you about the way a crayon is mightier than a plastic sword.  You know why?  Because crayons are conduits through which IDEAS flow, that's why.  It's true.  I get me and idea in my head, pick up the crayon, go to the paper, and there's a magical reaction between the crayon and the paper, and before I even know it, there's my whole dang ol' ideas, right there on the paper in all their waxy glory.

And ya know what happens after that?  Well, I'll tell ya.  I see those glorious, waxy ideas, and it makes me think of a whole buncha new ideas, and out they come, outta the end of my crayon!

Yep.  I can pretty much change the whole world with my crayon.  The whole entire world.

What about plastic swords?  Yeah, sure, they're sharp and pointy and plastic, and they kinda hurt if ya poke yourself with one, but they're good only for stabbin' through maraschino cherries and olives and appetizers.  Big whoopidee-dee-ding.

I'll take a crayon, any day.  How about that?!

And as I have one, I have some ideas to render in glorious colorful wax.  I'd better get crackalackin'.  I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!