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Monday, March 7, 2016

Goin' to the Bing to See the Giant Basket!

This is how I'd look every morning, if that big basket were across the street!
Friends!  I've learned something extremely exciting, as you can tell from my extremely excited visage in today's photograph!  I heard that the people from Longaberger Baskets are movin' their staff out of their giant basket building into less exciting accommodations. 

If you aren't familiar with the awesomeness of this beautiful basket-shaped building, you click right the heck on this link and take a gander.  I'll wait!

I know!  It's so magnificent, I cannot IMAGINE why the Longaberger people wanna leave it!  But the reality is, they do, and do I ever have a plan for this giant basket!

First of all, I'd have my pal Paul Bunyan and his ox Babe go to Ohio and pick up that big basket for me, and they'd bring it to the Bing and plop it down in place of the Township Building.  There's nothing wrong with the Township Building, but a giant basket would REALLY be something.  Paul Bunyan could actually just schuschel the existing township building over into the field next door to it, and they could keep their equipment in there, still, but the voting and township meetings and regular business could move into luxurious accommodations on the top floor so that everybody doing township business can look out of the windows and see the splendor that is the Bing. 

On the ground floor will be a magnificent food court and convenience store space, for those little essentials a person needs, as well as a world-class gift shop, fulla basket-and-Bing-themed merchandise.  On the remaining four floors, I envision mixed-use offices, retail space, event venues, meeting rooms, and a sit-down restaurant.

See?  I have a plan.

Now, skeptics might say that the giant basket has NOTHING to do with the Bing, but I say it doesn't have anything to do with the Bing YET.  There's a difference.  You just wait, Big People.  Once that giant basket is here, people won't be able to think of the Bing WITHOUT thinkin' about that big, beautiful basket building! 

Be a Bing Basket Believer, Friends!  I sure as all get-out am!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

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