The Company Luau!

So the company's havin' a luau today.

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's Friday, and what am I doin't at the office today?  I'm cuttin' up pineapple for our annual May Second Luau, but they gave me a plastic butter knife to do the cutting with, on accounta me bein' a "little kid."

Friends, have you ever tried cutting up a PINEAPPLE with even a reg'lar butter knife?  The kind that's made outta metal?

It's tricky stuff, isn't it?  You bet it is!

Now, for a moment, imagine yourself cuttin' up that dang ol' pineapple with a plastic butter knife.  Do ya think it's very effective?

Plastic butter knives hardly even cut through butter!

No.  The answer's no.  It isn't.

I don't even know why I said I'd do the pineapple for the luau.  Do you know what I wanted to do?  I wanted to make leis for the luau.  Correction: what I really, really, REALLY wanted to do for the luau is run the fire-knives during the big luau song and dance number.  I really wanted to be a fire-knife dancer and dance with fire-knives, but the people around here won't even give me a real knife to cut up the extremely difficult to cut up pineapple with, so do you think I was given the time of day when I inquired about dancing with the fire-knives?

Actually, I was.  I was told that it was past my naptime and I was escorted to my office and instructed to take a nap because obviously my lack of sleep was making me delirious, thinking that they'd let me run the fire-knives at the luau.

I'm never gonna get done, Friends!  Do you know if Dole delivers fresh cut-up pineapple to PA?

Well, phooey on them, anyway.  Wanna know what I did while I was napping?  I had a dream that not only did I get to dance with the fire-knives during the luau, but I also got to use an actual knife to cut up the pineapple for the luau, and I'll tell ya what, it made the job about a zillion times easier that way, having a better knife, and it being a dream and all.

Friends, I hope the company luau gets to goin' a little better than the preppin' for it has gone.  Nobody wants to be the luau loser, but at the rate I'm goin' that's gonna be me.  I love ya anyway, Friends.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Enjoy your Friday!  Muah!