It's Saturday! Let's go Imaginary Golfing!

Come golfing with me!

Hiya, Big People!  How are you today?  How's your weekend?  Mine's pretty great.  Saturdays are one of my six favorite days of the week.  My least favorite day is Monday, but sometimes Mondays bring a longer weekend, so I can't hate them entirely. 

Ummm, I guess you could say Monday and I have an understanding. 

I'm not talking about Monday, though right now.  I was wondering how your Saturday's going.

I like to imagine sometimes.  Well, all the time.  And since it's Saturday, I'd imagine I'm out golfing with a buncha Big People.  That's what you do on Saturdays, right, Friends?  Some of you golf?

Fashionably speaking, I figured it'd be okay, even preferable if I wore my beloved sparkly purple goggles and my floppy frog sunhat for playing Imaginary Golf.

Oooh!  How'd I miss that shot?

You wanna be comfortable when you play a sport, don't you agree, Friends?  Well, I guess you wanna be comfortable if you're playing a sport if you're not a girl.  I just read in a fitness-themed magazine that some of the girls at the Olympics were being made fun of because they weren't little twig-looking things.  I mean, they were at the Olympics, for Pete's Sake, and I said to Mommy, 'Mommy, I thought this was twenty-thirteen!"  And Mommy said "It is, but we still have a long way to go!"

I wonder what those commentators would think of my milk belly!  I love my belly!  I wouldn't want anybody to make fun of it and hurt its feelings.

But here on my Imaginary Golfing Expedition, nobody's allowed to say anything mean or snarky about somebody else's shape.  Deal?

I bet there's cookies in the clubhouse.  I'm going there!

And.  I get to drive the golf cart.  It's right in the contract.  ... Um, I'm pretty sure it is, Big People!  Look it up!  'Zoe drives the golf cart, always, because she's a superior golf cart driver!

I'll tell ya what I'm not superior at, even in an Imaginary Golfting (tm) Expedition.

Actually getting that little white ball into the hole.  It's like the ball and the hole are both the north pole on a magnet.  You know how if you're trying to stick two north poles together, it just doesn't work?  Well, that's how it is when I try to put a ball into the little hole in golf, even in my head. 

I think it wasn't meant to be.

You know what IS meant to be?  We're meant to have a Super Saturday today, Friends!  Whether you're good at golf or not, I love ya just the same!  Muah!