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Sunday, December 8, 2013

Manners, Schmanners!

I don't know why grownups are so uptight about gas!
Hiya, Friends! 

Well, if you're at all familiar with me and my People (Toddlers!), you already know we're a startlingly honest bunch.  Some people would say breathtakingly honest.  We haven't caught the hang-ups about lotsa stuff you Big People have, and that fact makes things a little...interesting when we've got to be around each other.

For instance, Friends, yesterday, I was sittin' at the table with my Daddy, and I had a little gas.  Better out than in!  is my motto when it comes to gas, to I let 'er rip, right there at the table!  And it was funny, so I LAUGHED!

We all get it!  You know what I'm talkin' about, Friends!
Don't you know, Daddy took umbrage with my lettin' 'er rip and with my laughing at myself.  He gave me that Daddy Look.  Do you know the one?

If ya don't know that look, then you're pretty lucky.  But so you can get the flavor of what I was dealing with, it's that look where Daddy's eyebrows kind of go up and down, and his eyes get all narrow, and his mouth makes a straight line.

Sometimes, Daddies don't appreciate the humor in these situations, hence, that dark look of theirs.

Anyway, Daddy asked me what I'm s'posedta say after I've let off a little gas, and I said, "Funny!"

"Nooooooooo!" Daddy said, shaking his head.  "You say Excuse Me!  Remember your manners!"

Fine, Big People.  I'll say 'Excuse Me' first, then laugh!
You know what, Friends?!  Manners, schmanners!  I don't understand why I've gotta say "Excuse Me!" after I have gas.  Everybody has gas!  Why do we gotta be so prudish about it, saying Excuse me?!  I mean, it's a proven medical fact that it's just like I said.  "Better out than in!" when it comes to gas.  So if it's better out than in, why do I hafta excuse myself after it happens?  Why is that good manners?  Why can't I just laugh, because it's funny?  It IS!  Gas is funny, and you can take that to the bank.  I don't understand why Big People get all embarrassed about it.

I guess when I'm around you Big People, and I have gas, I'll try to remember to say 'Excuse me' before I laugh.  Your board, your rules, I 'spose.  But I'll tell ya what.  When I'm surrounded by my own people, the little ones who aren't so easily offended, and I let one rip, we're all pretty much gonna laugh our heads off.  There'll be no excuse for us, but you don't need an excuse when you're with people who just get you.  How about that?!

I love ya just the same, Friends!  You take care until tomorrow, mmmmkay?!  Muah!

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