Pages

Monday, March 24, 2014

Hallo, Spring...G'bye, Jerkface!

It's still cold, but at least the sun makes it feel springier!
Hiya, Friends!  My, you're looking nice today on this Monday! (Psssst!  Do you remember how to respond to this?  Click here to refresh your memory!)

There!  Wasn't that nice?  Doesn't that feel good, to receive a compliment here on this Monday?

And how about the weather this weekend?  It wasn't exactly warm, but it sure was sunny!  It's been sucha long time since we've had that many sunny days in a row that I can't even remember when the last time was. 

Now that it's getting all nice and sunny, and we're at least feeling like warmer temperatures are on their way, I sure hope that people's attitudes start warmin' up, too.  I really do, Friends.

Did YOU happen to notice all the ugliness and kookiness going around this winter?  Did you get bitten by someone experiencing excessive ugliness and kookiness?  I think all of us were affected by it, whether we were ugly and kooky ourselves, or whether we got bitten by somebody who was ugly and kooky.

Really, if you get bitten by someone who's ugly and kooky, the odds are high that you're gonna be ugly and kooky to somebody, sooner or later.  It happens to all of us.  The technical term for somebody who's ugly and kooky (attitude-wise, mind you-we're talkin' about an ugly and kooky attitude) is "Jerkface."

No, really!  That's the technical term for it.  Look it up!  You have a computer!  Or you can just take my word for it.  Jerkfaces are everywhere, and they're kind of a pathetic lot, because somewhere along the way, they were probably just regular people who got pushed around one too many times by another Jerkface, and they've just decided never to step back into the Land of the NonJerkfaces, so they go around, biting other normal people, trying to make them into PermaJerkfaces, just like them.

Misery loves company, and nobody's more miserable than a Jerkface.

I hope the Spring chases away the widespread cases of Jerkface I observated over the winter!
And the environment that most incipient Jerkfaces thrive most in are dark, rainy, cold, wintry days.  It's as though the weather validates their Jerkface mood, and their Jerkface mood validates the weather.  That's the weather that makes Jerkface so easy to spread, much like the flu.

Unlike the flu, though, there isn't a shot you can get to prevent Jerkface from descending upon you.  All the gettin' better is on you to do, if you're bitten by a Jerkface.

Before you think the situation is hopeless, there are ways to cure Jerkface.  Not with medicine.  With your attitude.  When you find yourself bitten by a Jerkface, you can let it really get to you.  And Jerkfaces will really try to make you let it get to you.  If they don't getchya the first time they say or do something mean or rude or thoughtless, they'll definitely be back in a coupla seconds.  They'll be meaner, ruder, thoughtlesser.  They'll bring their Jerkface friends- or maybe I should say their Legion of Jerkfaceness.  They'll swarm you like miserable mosquitoes until you snap and call 'em names right back, if ya let 'em. 

But like I said.  There's a coupla things you can do to stop a Jerkface onslaught before it starts, Friends.  The first thing is when you get bitten by a Jerkface, and they say something ugly and kooky, is to smile and give the Jerkface the benefit of the doubt.  And walk away.  If that isn't possible, and they really ARE bein' a Jerkface and trying to spread their ill feelings to you, and they strike again, recognize that you're dealin' with a Jerkface, and don't let yourself respond to them in kind. But DO stop smilin' at 'em.  Put your serious face on, look 'em square in the eye, and say 'This interpersonal exchange has become unproductive, so I'm going to need to take my leave of your company at once.  I hope you get to feeling better soon!' And then it's imperative that you remove yourself from their immediate proximity quickly, Friends.  Go get yourself a coffee.  Go for a quick walk.  Turn around in your desk chair and start typing on the computer.  If they don't leave your space, go ahead and hit the trap door button on your desk, and let 'em go down the trap door.  If your workspace doesn't come equipped with a trap door, and they're still standing there, exuding Jerkface into your space, a curt 'Run along now!  I'm calling security!' ought to do.

If your Jerkface happens to be attacking through the computer, they're really easy to take care of.  Just silence the Jerkface.  Don't read or respond to anything that has their name on it.  Don't let their Cyber Jerkfacing ruin your day again.  Just click 'unfriend,' 'unfollow,' and 'block.'  Even if they're somebody who's supposed to mean something to you. 

Real friends don't Jerkface their friends.  Remember that.

The point of all this is that Jerkface spreads only when you are in contact with someone so committed to letting their Jerkface illness thrive, so you need to get away from that type of person.

But like I said before, we all come down with a case of the Jerkface from time to time.  I know I do!  And when you find yourself suffering from Jerkface, you've got to take responsibility for your own care.  You've gotta do something nice for yourself.... kind of away from other people, until you know you can be out and about without biting someone and infecting them with Jerkface.  Have a snack you like.  Maybe take a little nap, or go to bed earlier than usual, if you can.  Watch a happy television program that you like.

And now that it's Spring, or Spring-ish, when the weather's warmer, you can go outside and take a nice lungful of fresh air, flavored with sunshine and blossoms.  You can get out and take a walk and feel the warm sun on you.  Stand up straight when you walk, and don't trudge.  Smile and wave at the other people you see out and about... they might be walking off a case of Jerkface, too, so be kind!  Kindness can spread almost as fast as Jerkface spreads, and it's so much easier for Kindness to get a foothold and start running through the population now that it's getting warmer and springier.

You don't hafta let Jerkface be terminal, Friends.

Smile and don't be a Jerkface statistic, Friends!
So now that it's Springtime, I hope the widespread ugliness and kookiness... the Jerkface epidemic of 2013-2014 subsides a little more every day.  I hope we all get to feeling more like ourselves once again, real soon, smiling and being nice to each other.  It's easier to shrug off a case of Jerkface when the weather isn't whipping wind and snow at you all the time.  But it isn't all the weather's fault. We've gotta decide not to be Jerkfaces, Friends, and just not have any part of it when in the presence of a Jerkface.  They'll always be around, Friends, but we don't hafta let 'em win in their quest for World Domination.

So say it with me, Big People: "Hallo, Spring!  G'bye, Jerkface!"

I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!

No comments:

Post a Comment